Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

One of
widely
Add an article
the widely
show examples
discussed issues nowadays is many young
people
are leaving their homes in rural areas to
study
or work in the
cities
. It is undeniable that studying and working has become an essential part of our life.
However
, there is no absolute agreement as some
people
find moving
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
another
city
to
study
or work beneficial,
while
others consider everything associated with
leave
Change the verb form
leaving
show examples
your home negatively. Surely,there are both pros and cons to leaving their homes to
study
or
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. One of the main positives of moving to
another
Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
show examples
cities
is that
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
the
Add a missing verb
has the
show examples
scope to
study
in better educational institutes.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
the students
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
don’t
have in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
city
a good educational institutes and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
study
better for
him
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
future.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
students do anything
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
universities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and leave their homes. Another advantage is that urbanisation
cities
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
have
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
assortment and advantages for workers .
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
moving to another
city
for a new job is a sure-fire way to improve your skills and gain experience: meet
people
from different parts of the company, gain a lot of new ideas and expand your network of contacts. Turning to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side of the argument, many moving
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
cities
is hard. You be tired and you miss your
city
. Another major disadvantage is
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
problems. Everyone
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
show examples
have a lot of money and they
don’t
moving
Change the verb form
move
show examples
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
city
. It’s
biggest
Change the article
the biggest
show examples
problem
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
students, they
don’t
have a job and
don’t
have money for university. But
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
parents pay his child and do anything for their dream In conclusion, young
people
from the countryside are migrating to major
cities
in order to obtain higher education and careers with better salaries.
While
specific disadvantages are prevalent, I advocate the fact that
this
movement is heading towards a brighter future.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Work on clearer and more detailed examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, using linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion. This will help the reader track your argument more easily.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion clearly state the main points and provide a good framework for the essay.
complete response
The main points are relevant to the topic and adequately address both the reasons for migrating and the advantages/disadvantages of this movement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Educational institutions
  • Job prospects
  • Wages
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural exchange
  • Overpopulation
  • Cost of living
  • Rural depopulation
  • Social isolation
  • Traditional values
  • Personal growth
  • Recreational activities
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