Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
One of
widely
discussed issues nowadays is many young Add an article
the widely
people
are leaving their homes in rural areas to study
or work in the cities
. It is undeniable that studying and working has become an essential part of our life. However
, there is no absolute agreement as some people
find moving at
another Change preposition
to
city
to study
or work beneficial,while
others consider everything associated with leave
your home negatively. Surely,there are both pros and cons to leaving their homes to Change the verb form
leaving
study
or working
but Wrong verb form
work
i
believe Change the capitalization
I
advantages
outweigh Correct article usage
the advantages
disadvantages
.
One of the main positives of moving to Correct article usage
the disadvantages
another
Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
cities
is that community
Correct article usage
the community
the
scope to Add a missing verb
has the
study
in better educational institutes. For
instance
the students Add a comma
instance,
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
don’t
have in his
Correct pronoun usage
their
city
a good educational institutes and he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
want
Add the particle
want to
study
better for him
future. Correct pronoun usage
their
And the
students do anything Correct word choice
The
for
Change preposition
to
study
in
Change preposition
at
best
universitiesCorrect article usage
the best
,
and leave their homes. Another advantage is that urbanisation Remove the comma
apply
cities
and
have Correct word choice
apply
big
assortment and advantages for workers . Correct article usage
a big
For
example
moving to another Add a comma
example,
city
for a new job is a sure-fire way to improve your skills and gain experience: meet people
from different parts of the company, gain a lot of new ideas and expand your network of contacts.
Turning to other
side of the argument, many moving Correct article usage
the other
in
Change preposition
to
cities
is hard. You be
tired and you miss your city
. Another major disadvantage is finance
problems. Everyone Replace the word
financial
don’t
have a lot of money and they Change the verb form
doesn’t
don’t
moving
Change the verb form
move
another
Change preposition
to another
city
. It’s biggest
problem Change the article
the biggest
in
students, they Change preposition
for
don’t
have a job and don’t
have money for university. But they
parents pay his child and do anything for their dream
In conclusion, young Correct your spelling
the
people
from the countryside are migrating to major cities
in order to obtain higher education and careers with better salaries. While
specific disadvantages are prevalent, I advocate the fact that this
movement is heading towards a brighter future.Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
Work on clearer and more detailed examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, using linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion. This will help the reader track your argument more easily.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion clearly state the main points and provide a good framework for the essay.
complete response
The main points are relevant to the topic and adequately address both the reasons for migrating and the advantages/disadvantages of this movement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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