Billions of dollars are being wasted each year in space research . The money could be better used to improve conditions on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Research indeed plays a crucial role in the world. Some
people
say that a large amount of
money
is spent on
space
projects
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year but
this
billion of dollars could be spent for developing
Earth
's situations. I partially agree with
this
statement for the following reasons.
To begin
with, spending more
money
on
space
research will bring a plethora of benefits to the population.
This
is, because many crowds have more curiosity about
space
investigation, not only the astronauts and scientists but
also
individuals.
This
kind of analysis
to be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
needed to understand the future, past and present periods, henceforth many countries allocate bulk amounts of capital for
this
such
as the USA and Russia.
For example
, these two nations spend three
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
projects
which are NASA and Retro Cosmo sphere. That's why
people
have a chance to understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other planets,
hence
, spending huge amounts on
space
investigations is youthful.
In contrast
,
this
money
could be spent on
Earth
's
projects
and development
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the grounds the ministry should address some serious issues like starvation, poverty, medical facilities, education, shelters and
infrasture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
because of inequality in
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
. Many
people
affected
Add a missing verb
are affected
show examples
this
Change preposition
by this
show examples
issue and they need all these amenities to live a better life, so, the local administration should spend
money
to improve
people
's livelihoods.
For instance
, 20th-century astronaut Mr N. Armstrong has already done
space
projects
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
much we need, so allocating bulk amounts
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
space
analysis are waste
instead
of using that
money
to improve humankind's way of lifestyle.
In addition
, many deadly diseases and natural catastrophes threaten
crowds
Change noun form
crowds'
crowd's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, so, the government could pay more
money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Earth
. In conclusion, spending a huge amount of
money
on
space
research
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year is not a waste because we have to understand the future, past and present conditions.
However
, that
money
could be used on the
Earth
Change noun form
Earth's
show examples
development on the grounds
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
are some crucial problems to be addressed which
poverty
Add a missing verb
are poverty
show examples
and starvation.
Therefore
, I partly agree with
this
statement in the above-mentioned details.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on the main points to provide a deeper analysis and more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and to add sophistication to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one, and avoid abrupt transitions.
coherence cohesion
Proofread to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that succinctly summarize the main points.
task achievement
Provided relevant examples to support the arguments.
task achievement
Maintained a balanced perspective by discussing both sides of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!