In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Many parts of the world are experiencing a rise in the average
weight
of their people
as well as
a decline in healthiness and physical condition.
This
is caused by the low quality of
people’s
diet
and they don’t do any
exercise
at all. Some solutions are able to tackle these issues
such
as changing the
diet
to be healthier and having
exercise
at least 1 time per week.
Firstly
, people usually do not pay attention to their lifestyle, including their dietary programme and
exercise
.
Therefore
, these bad habits make their
weight
increase and worsen their well-being. By
this
, I mean
people’s
physical conditions are determined by the
food
they regularly consume.
Furthermore
, the lack of workouts lowers
people’s
metabolisms which leads to a decline in their health and fitness levels.
For example
, over half of Americans become obese because of consuming too much junk
food
and skipping physical
exercise
.
However
, the issue above can be prevented if people change their diets by having natural ingredients and more nutrition in their
food
and having regular
exercise
at least once a week to reduce their
weight
and increase their level of fitness.
For instance
, consuming
food
with high nutrition, will decrease their calorie intake and give them more nutrition to their body.
Furthermore
, exercises produce a higher metabolism that causes more calories burned quicker and raises their fitness level. One of the
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
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, in Japan, it is usual to consume healthy and high in nutritious foods.
Consequently
, the Japanese have a really small percentage of them having obesity problems and most of them have ideal body
weight
percentages. In conclusion, an awful
diet
and no
exercise
are the reasons why
people’s
weight
soar and their health levels drop, but having a better
diet
and occasionally doing
exercise
will diminish those issues.
Submitted by kelly on

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coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition of words and phrases to enhance the writing style.
task achievement
Expand on the causes and solutions to provide a more detailed and comprehensive analysis. For example, consider discussing the role of government policies or cultural habits.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that linking phrases are varied and used effectively to improve the flow of ideas. For instance, replace 'firstly' with alternative transitions such as 'to begin with' or 'initially'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Each main point is well-supported with relevant examples, making the argument more persuasive.
task achievement
The topic is fully addressed and the solutions presented are practical and realistic.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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