SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT COMPETITION AT WORK, AT SCHOOL AND IN DAILY LIFE IS A GOOD THING. OTHERS BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD TRY TO COOPERATE MORE, RATHER THAN COMPETING AGAINST EACH OTHER.

#people #competition #work #school #life

In my opinion competition at

work

, at school and in daily

life

can both be a good thing and a bad thing, why? because I think too much of anything can be destructive. Yes, it's a very good thing to be competitive but don't overdo it. Having no competition in your

life

at all can be very depressing. because you have no motivation, no goals you want to achieve,

everytime

Replace the word

every time

show examples

you wake up in the morning. I don't believe that there is

such

thing as "

co-operateing

Correct your spelling

co-operating

" too much, when you

work

with someone you should

work

together as a team and co-operate, but

also

do things for yourself, like something career-wise. You should think of your future in your

work

. That goes the same if you are still in school, take my school

life

for example

. If I am very good at one subject

in particular

, lots of other students may come up to me and ask for pointers. I would be very glad to help them. If there is any homework, schoolmates may come over together,

this

also

fine and very good for building relationships. But sometimes there are people who think you are nice and ask you to do their

work

for them.

This

is where you should draw the line, yes you are friends and you should help each other, but that doesn't mean that you have to do their homework or give them

answer

Fix the agreement mistake

answers

show examples

when there is a test. Remember

life

is a competition, be a winner.

Submitted by saja.alotaibi on Thu Jul 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try developing a clearer structure by outlining your main points at the beginning and summarizing them at the end. This can make your essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows well to the next. Use conjunctions and linking words to better connect your ideas.

task achievement

Expand on your main points with more detailed examples and analysis. This will make your argument more compelling.

task achievement

Focus on correcting minor grammatical errors and refining word choices. This will enhance the clarity and quality of your essay.

task achievement

You have included relevant examples to support your points, which enhances your argument.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and you articulate your thoughts well, which is important for task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of your essay is good, and you have managed to argue both sides of the issue effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The large number of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the development of public transportation systems in order to help solve this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric and other types of cars that may cause less pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In nowdays, while cars have become an essential tool for transportaion, the number of cars on the roads has been increasing constantly, which has generated more car emissions and worsened global warming. Some insist that governments should allocate more budget into public transportation systems, whereas others complain that the growth of alternative cars such as electric cars is more beneficial than the development of public transportation systems. In my opinion, both upgrades are crucial to solve the problem.
8
band
It is important for all the cities and towns to have large outdoor public spaces, such as parks or squares. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is controversial whether spacious public spaces for exercise are needed in all cities and towns. I partially agree with this, for promoting public health regardless of the fact that they cause some environmental damage in the countryside.
6
band
In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is not a surprise that fast food has become commonplace these days. A huge number of people prefer to choose meal chains like McDonald's, Burger King, KFC and others as their main way of eating. Subsequently, a lot of people have serious health problems because it is very harmful to eat such foodstuffs constantly. And there is a view that the government should increase the tax on these purchases. And of course, this solution has its advantages and disadvantages. But I think the drawbacks are more.
4.5
band
Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countrysid.
the modern era whilewhile others believe that every person was nowadays is more and more independent. This author believes that it is good for people to live by their own self and rely on their own ability.
6.5
band
In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?
In the era of globalization, new methods of payment have been generated. credit cards simplest the payment system by purchasing anything without having cash money. However, there is a debate on this argument . As a result, a wide range of individuals could face some obstacles with debts and they may not be able to pay them back. In this essay, I will illustrate the benefits and its hazards.

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT COMPETITION AT WORK, AT SCHOOL AND IN DAILY LIFE IS A GOOD THING. OTHERS BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD TRY TO COOPERATE MORE, RATHER THAN COMPETING AGAINST EACH OTHER.

Include an introduction and conclusion

It is important for all the cities and towns to have large outdoor public spaces, such as parks or squares. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countrysid.

In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?