IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
Many people consider risk-taking as a significant part of their career and personal
life
; there are absolutely some benefits and drawbacks to
this
 view, and
this
 essay will discuss one of each and
then
 I will argue why the advantages are worth taking
risks
. On one hand, the main advantage of going through
risks
 in
life
 is that it could end up in prosperity. As a matter of fact, individuals choose to take
risks
 to make their lives or work more successful.
For instance
, if an engineer has to resign from their current job so they can apply for a higher position, accepting
this
 challenge might result in a brighter personal and professional future.
On the other hand
,
although
 there is a
chance
 of success, failing is an unavoidable aspect of taking
risks
. Undoubtedly, there is a
chance
 of being jobless or having difficulties in living in case of failure, which could affect people’s whole lives. To clarify
this
, when someone decides to investigate building a house with a lower price in the hands of a newly established construction company, there is a
chance
 of fraudulence, and if they lose their whole savings,
life
 would be difficult and they must work harder to recover the damage. In my opinion, Taking
risks
 plays a significant role in human
life
. Individuals can not grow in a risk-free
life
;
moreover
, most of the following unsuccesses are not temporary and they could be remade in a matter of time. In conclusion, there are considerable reasons for people to take or not take
risks
, thinking of the
chance
 of success and failure;
however
, I tend to believe that taking it is worth it to have a glorious future.
Submitted by Farzaneh Ka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon with specific examples and supporting details. Avoid superficial treatment of the content.
task achievement
The introduction requires a clear thesis statement, indicating the direction of the essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points succinctly, reiterating the position you have taken.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with a range of cohesive devices and organize paragraphs logically, with clear topic sentences and concluding sentences that reflect the main idea.
task achievement
Develop your arguments more fully and avoid making statements without substantiation. Each point that is raised should be clearly related back to the question prompt and fully elaborated upon.
task achievement
For a higher band score, ensure that the examples you provide are both relevant and specific. General statements weaken the overall argument and may reduce the impact of your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: