IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Genetically engineered food is an important issue in modern society. Some people think that it will improve people's lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

#food #society #people #lives #threat #life #earth
Currently, engineered
food
 is largely discussed. Some
people
 believe that it would improve
people
's lives
while
 others argue that it would be a threat to life on earth.
To begin
 with, genetically engineered
food
 could be designed and intended for
people
 with allergies, removing the allergen from the
food
.
Otherwise
, certain kinds of
food
 could be enhanced and made more beneficial for human health.
For example
, more micronutrients could be added to fruits and vegetables.
Furthermore
, there would be no periodicity in agriculture and that would lead to more resources and the consequent lowering of prices, making
food
 accessible for everyone,
reducing
Correct word choice
and reducing
show examples
 hunger problems.
In addition
 to that, crops could be designed to be more resistant to
diaseses
Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reducing the need for chemical pesticides and potentially lessening the environmental impact of agriculture but
also
 having an impact on
people
's health.
On the other hand
, we don't know if there are any risks with all the genetic modifications. In fact, a large number of
people
 are concerned because they think that those foods could bring health risks that are not studied yet.
Moreover
, genetic modification could lead us to develop new
food
 allergies and in the worst cases, fatal allergic reactions. Afterwards, with the advent of these supplies, local farmers would begin to work less and less. In my opinion, genetically engineered
food
 should be controlled. In some cases, like the spread of diseases or in some parts of the world where agriculture is possible
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for reduced months, would be an intelligent way to still produce resources, but, In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 traditional
food
 is better and more ethical.
Submitted by chi63hi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your claims. For instance, mention specific studies or cases where genetically engineered food has been beneficial or harmful.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same point. The use of chemical pesticides being reduced and the health benefits were mentioned twice.
task achievement
Ensure that you present a clear stance. While you do give an opinion, it feels somewhat hesitant. Make your position crystal clear from the beginning.
introduction
Your introduction clearly outlines the two opposing views and sets the stage for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Logical transitions between paragraphs help maintain the flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetically engineered food
  • Nutritional content
  • Crop yields
  • Food scarcity
  • Developing countries
  • Resistant to pests and diseases
  • Chemical pesticides
  • Environmental impact
  • Health risks
  • Allergic reactions
  • Long-term health effects
  • Reduction in biodiversity
  • Crossbreed with wild plants
  • Ethical issues
  • Agribusinesses
  • Food supply
  • Livelihoods of small farmers
  • Stringent regulation
  • Extensive testing
  • Transparent labeling
  • Informed choices
  • Governmental and international bodies
  • Safety and fairness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: