IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below show how instant noodles are manufactured.

The diagram below show how instant noodles are manufactured.
#show #instant #noodles
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The given diagram illustrates the
manufaturing
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
 of an unidentified brand of instant
noodles
Use synonyms
 starting with
processing
Add an article
the processing
show examples
 of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
raw ingredients into
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
noodles
Use synonyms
 and
enculminating
Correct your spelling
culminating
 with assembling a final product.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly observed on the flow chart that there are simple 8 steps throughout the process of making
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
instant
noodles
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the first step is
Linking Words
 to make a dough for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
noodles
Use synonyms
. The flour that
kept
Add a missing verb
is kept
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 inside a storage silo
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 transported to the production zone. Mixing
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 flour and liquid solution of oil and water together in a mixer machine,
then
Linking Words
 the mixed content now
rolling
Wrong verb form
rolled
show examples
 into
a thin sheets
Correct the article-noun agreement
thin sheets
a thin sheet
show examples
 through a
five mechanic
Add a hyphen
five-mechanic
show examples
 roller. Once the dough is spread thinly, it undergoes the stripper where it
slice
Change the verb form
slices
show examples
noodles
Use synonyms
 into an equal size.
Next,
Linking Words
these
noodle's
Fix the agreement mistake
noodles'
show examples
 strands now
shaping
Wrong verb form
shaped
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 into
a discs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a disc
discs
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 before deep frying
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
hot oil. The fried
noodles
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 dried and
packing it
Wrong verb form
packed
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 in a
cylindar
Correct your spelling
cylinder
 cup.
The extra
Correct article usage
Extra
show examples
topping
Fix the agreement mistake
toppings
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as vegetables and spices are added in
this
Linking Words
 process. Once everything is assembled together in a cup, the instant
noodles
Use synonyms
 get
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 labelling and sealing in order to
preserved
Change the verb
preserve
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 well and ready to be shipped to
department
Add an article
the department
a department
show examples
 store.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words noodles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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