IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The diagram below show how instant noodles are manufactured.

The diagram below show how instant noodles are manufactured.
#show #instant #noodles
The given diagram illustrates the
manufaturing
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
 of an unidentified brand of instant
noodles
 starting with
processing
Add an article
the processing
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 of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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raw ingredients into
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
noodles
 and
enculminating
Correct your spelling
culminating
 with assembling a final product.
Overall
, it is clearly observed on the flow chart that there are simple 8 steps throughout the process of making
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
instant
noodles
.
To begin
 with,
the first step is
 to make a dough for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
noodles
. The flour that
kept
Add a missing verb
is kept
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 inside a storage silo
are
Change the verb form
is
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 transported to the production zone. Mixing
these
Correct determiner usage
the
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 flour and liquid solution of oil and water together in a mixer machine,
then
 the mixed content now
rolling
Wrong verb form
rolled
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 into
a thin sheets
Correct the article-noun agreement
thin sheets
a thin sheet
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 through a
five mechanic
Add a hyphen
five-mechanic
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 roller. Once the dough is spread thinly, it undergoes the stripper where it
slice
Change the verb form
slices
show examples
noodles
 into an equal size.
Next,
these
noodle's
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noodles'
show examples
 strands now
shaping
Wrong verb form
shaped
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 into
a discs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a disc
discs
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 before deep frying
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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hot oil. The fried
noodles
is
Change the verb form
are
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 dried and
packing it
Wrong verb form
packed
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 in a
cylindar
Correct your spelling
cylinder
 cup.
The extra
Correct article usage
Extra
show examples
topping
Fix the agreement mistake
toppings
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such
 as vegetables and spices are added in
this
 process. Once everything is assembled together in a cup, the instant
noodles
 get
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 labelling and sealing in order to
preserved
Change the verb
preserve
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 well and ready to be shipped to
department
Add an article
the department
a department
show examples
 store.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words noodles with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

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