In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country , while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, remunerations are being allocated exorbitantly. For many,
this
practice is a means to make the country better. However
, others opine that the cash flow should be regulated and minimised. In this
essay, although
both sides of the argument will be discussed, I strongly believe that salaries should be disbursed as much as possible.
There are two main reasons why high pay in the workforce is a necessity. First of all, It helps to alleviate personal issues such
as home bills, hospital charges and tuition fees for one’s children. For example
, In America, doctors are paid significantly in comparison to the rest of the world. Because of this
, they do not have debts in any monetary task of their lives, thus
boosting the economic status of the society. Moreover
, substantial wages promote an efficient work ethic. Take China, for instance
, the nation has more people willingly going to work at dawn since the nation encourages a more shift higher salary policy. As a result
, they have the highest GDP globally.
On the other hand
, there are counterarguments as to why increased pay grades should not be supported. Firstly
, it is viewed to promote laziness and lack of motivation. For instance
, a study conducted by Chevron Oil Company showed that its workers earn so much that they do not feel the need to put in an effort to get a better position. This
may lead to a downgrade in the efficacy of the petrol delivery. Furthermore
, it is also
perceived as a means for older people to stay in a job longer than expected. To further
illustrate, in Zimbabwe, President Mugabe refused to leave the presidential seat because he received a lot of earnings in the role. Therefore
, denying the younger generation an opportunity to participate in leadership duties.
To conclude
, it is clear that
wages would be a continuous debate. Some people think that a precipitous pay will ease their burden and aid in better work performance, while
others believe that it will reduce the hustling spirit and leave youths jobless. In my opinion, a well-satisfied labourer is more convincing regardless of whatever the situation might be.Submitted by adebimpeanimawun on
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task achievement
Although the essay addresses both sides of the argument, the introduction could be improved for better clarity and engagement. The phrase 'remunerations are being allocated exorbitantly' can be simplified to make the essay more comprehensible from the start.
task achievement
While the essay provides examples, the ideas could be more deeply explored, especially in the second argument about how high salaries might promote laziness. Explaining the logic behind these examples can further enhance the comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but transitions between some arguments could be smoother. Introducing phrases like 'Furthermore' and 'Additionally' can aid in this. For instance, 'Moreover, substantial wages promote an efficient work ethic' could be preceded by a linking phrase to bring more coherence.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, avoid abrupt shifts in ideas. For example, transitioning from discussing the positive impacts of high salaries to the argument against it can be more fluid by adding transitional sentences or phrases that signal a change in perspective.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a higher band score.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay and restates the writer’s viewpoint clearly.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples like the American doctors and Chinese workers adds depth and authenticity to the arguments.
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