In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country , while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, remunerations are being allocated exorbitantly. For many,

this

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practice is a means to make the country better.

However

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, others opine that the cash flow should be regulated and minimised. In

this

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essay,

although

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both sides of the argument will be discussed, I strongly believe that salaries should be disbursed as much as possible. There are two main reasons why high pay in the workforce is a necessity. First of all, It helps to alleviate personal issues

such

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as home bills, hospital charges and tuition fees for one’s children.

For example

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, In America, doctors are paid significantly in comparison to the rest of the world. Because of

this

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, they do not have debts in any monetary task of their lives,

thus

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boosting the economic status of the society.

Moreover

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, substantial wages promote an efficient work ethic. Take China,

for instance

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, the nation has more people willingly going to work at dawn since the nation encourages a more shift higher salary policy.

As a result

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, they have the highest GDP globally.

On the other hand

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, there are counterarguments as to why increased pay grades should not be supported.

Firstly

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, it is viewed to promote laziness and lack of motivation.

For instance

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, a study conducted by Chevron Oil Company showed that its workers earn so much that they do not feel the need to put in an effort to get a better position.

This

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may lead to a downgrade in the efficacy of the petrol delivery.

Furthermore

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, it is

also

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perceived as a means for older people to stay in a job longer than expected. To

further

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illustrate, in Zimbabwe, President Mugabe refused to leave the presidential seat because he received a lot of earnings in the role.

Therefore

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, denying the younger generation an opportunity to participate in leadership duties.

To conclude

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it is clear that

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wages would be a continuous debate. Some people think that a precipitous pay will ease their burden and aid in better work performance,

while

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others believe that it will reduce the hustling spirit and leave youths jobless. In my opinion, a well-satisfied labourer is more convincing regardless of whatever the situation might be.

adebimpeanimawunSat Jul 06 2024

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task achievement

Although the essay addresses both sides of the argument, the introduction could be improved for better clarity and engagement. The phrase 'remunerations are being allocated exorbitantly' can be simplified to make the essay more comprehensible from the start.

task achievement

While the essay provides examples, the ideas could be more deeply explored, especially in the second argument about how high salaries might promote laziness. Explaining the logic behind these examples can further enhance the comprehensiveness of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure, but transitions between some arguments could be smoother. Introducing phrases like 'Furthermore' and 'Additionally' can aid in this. For instance, 'Moreover, substantial wages promote an efficient work ethic' could be preceded by a linking phrase to bring more coherence.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, avoid abrupt shifts in ideas. For example, transitioning from discussing the positive impacts of high salaries to the argument against it can be more fluid by adding transitional sentences or phrases that signal a change in perspective.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a higher band score.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay and restates the writer’s viewpoint clearly.

task achievement

The use of relevant and specific examples like the American doctors and Chinese workers adds depth and authenticity to the arguments.

18
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealth inequality
economic growth
motivation
talent acquisition
consumer spending
tax revenue
redistributing wealth
market forces
income disparity
social stability
freedom of choice
meritocracy

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Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe that they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say that they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both points of view and five your own opinion.

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Some people think that the government should invest more in public health and less in other areas such as education and infrastructure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?