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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane.
#process #sugar #sugarcane
The given diagram illustrates the manufacturing process for
sugar
 production from
sugar
 cane, starting with
a
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apply
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raw ingredients and
enculminating
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culminating
 with processed products.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that
sugar
 cane was transformed into
sugar
 with a simple 7 steps which will be elaborated on in the next paragraph.
To begin
 with, the growing of
a
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apply
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sugar
 cane which is the main
characters
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character
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for
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of
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this
 took around a year or year and a half. Once
it
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it is
it was
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 ripe enough, these raw materials could either
harvested
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be harvested
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 manually or
machanically
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mechanically
 with a harvesting truck that
cutting
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cuts
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 and
collecting
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collects
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 at the same time
while
 riding
nearby
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near
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 the field.
Then
, the collected ingredients now crushed with the machine and squished any juices out of it. The juices
undergoes
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undergo
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 the purifying process by flowing through the limestone filter.
Next,
the purified juices boiled under extreme heat in an evaporator, changing
liquid
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the liquid
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 solution into a slimy and sticky content known as Syrup. In
consesequence
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consequence
 of high temperature,
its
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it
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bring
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brings
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 the solutions to
boiled
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boil
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 and
solidified
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solidify
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which
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apply
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leaving
a crystal-like products
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crystal-like products
a crystal-like product
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. The mixtures
later
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were later
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seperated
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separated
 these two with a centrifuge, a machine using
the
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apply
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rolling force to disperse
a
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apply
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syrup away.
Last
 but not least, the
sugar
 crystals
stored
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are stored
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 in a cylinder frame for drying and cooling as
a final products
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a final product
final products
show examples
.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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