IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that having fixed punishments for all crimes is more efficient way to deal with crime. whats your opinion?.

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In the contemporary world, the
crime
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rate
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 is significantly rising around the world. Many
people
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 argue that the best
way
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 to tackle
crime
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 is to have a fixed punishment. I completely agree that
this
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 approach would not only decrease the
crime
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rate
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 but
also
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 bring a positive change in offenders' lives.
To begin
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 with, many
people
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, including myself, argue that categorizing the
punishments
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according to
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 the severity of the
offense
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offence
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 is the best
way
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 to deal with it and has led to a decrease in the
crime
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rate
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.
For instance
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,
people
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 who commit shoplifting should be sentenced to six months in prison, and citizens involved in murder cases should be sentenced to a lifetime in jail.
This
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 approach would create a panic feeling in the
criminals
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, and
hence
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, they would think twice before involving in any illegal activities. The United States Of America introduced
this
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 approach
last
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 year, and the government witnessed a significant fall in the
crime
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rate
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 from 40 per cent to 10 per cent.
Additionally
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, many
people
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 believe that fixed
punishments
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,
along with
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counseling
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counselling
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 and creating awareness, would bring a positive change in
criminals
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 and help to lead a peaceful life after release from prison.
For example
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, the country Japan has introduced
this
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 fixed punishment law
along with
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 career guidance and support for
criminals
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 in jails. Reports showed that 80% of offenders stopped committing crimes and led a normal life after jail.
This
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 would be evidence that fixed
punishments
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 for crimes are the best
way
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 to deal with them. To summarize,
punishments
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according to
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 the type of
crime
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 are an appropriate
way
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 to reduce the
crime
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rate
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, and I strongly believe that it not only minimizes the
crime
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rate
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 but
also
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 brings positive results for
criminals
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.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Utilize a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas smoothly throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task, providing a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant examples. Develop your ideas fully and ensure your points are clearly made and supported.
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