IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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There is no denying the fact that numerous residents in some regions believe that owning a home rather than renting one is something crucial.
This
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 essay will discuss the causes of
this
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 phenomenon and deliver my opinion.
To begin
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 with, there are many causes for why some people
are
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apply
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desire to own property.
Firstly
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, some countries especially the developing ones suffer from high rental costs.
In other words
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, they believe that buying a
house
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 and paying a monthly fee for a bank is more affordable than renting one.
In addition
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, some governments encourage the residents to own houses to increase the country’s economy.
For instance
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, in the Gulf countries, if you own your first property, you will not have to pay any taxes for that payment. In terms of the situation of
this
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 phenomenon, I tend to believe that it has significant positive aspects in both individuals and communities.
Although
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 buying or building a
house
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 from scratch costs a massive amount of money, it has substantial benefits . It is
also
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 possible to say that, when you design your
house
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 you have the potential to make it a net zero-carbon building which will reduce energy usage.
Moreover
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, having sustainable and net zero-carbon buildings in a city will impact the environment considerably.
For example
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, planning your
house
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 with big windows in the hot countries
,
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apply
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 will ensure to have direct and indirect natural lighting in all spaces and to keep the
house
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 warm during winter. In conclusion, there are many drivers behind owning houses including economic and environmental aspects.
However
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, I tend to believe that owning houses is
extraordinary
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extraordinarily
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 upwards for individuals and communities.
Submitted by marim.almualim on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider adding transitional phrases to improve logical flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that all your points are thoroughly supported with relevant examples or explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
general
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and try to vary your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing both the reasons behind preferring homeownership and your opinion on the matter.
task achievement
You provided clear and relevant examples, such as the reference to the Gulf countries and zero-carbon buildings, which makes your points more relatable and impactful.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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