in the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop

Nowadays,

malls

offer a variety range of

facilities

and can be a suitable place to hang out with friends or have a family day out .

Therefore

people

can be entertained

alongside

Change preposition

show examples

shopping. So, shopping will always be an integral part of visiting

malls

. I generally agree with the statement and in

this

essay, I will explain my reasons and give my opinion. We can find so many entertaining

facilities

at shopping centres for any age. As a reason for that, families tend to go there in their free time to be entertained and have some fun.

Additionally

, they may do some shopping as well, but what brought them there was to spend some quality time as a family in an outdoor place. I am a shopkeeper and I see families every day who bring their kids with them to take them to the playground on the

last

floor.And, they mostly do not carry a shopping bag with them.

In addition

, young generations enjoy going to shopping

malls

and spending time with their friends there.

For instance

, they can go to a cinema and

then

to an amusement park and

also

have a meal all in the same place.

On the other hand

, those amusement

facilities

are there to attract customers to come to

malls

in order to spend money on buying items and for

malls

Change noun form

malls'

mall's

show examples

survival. What is more, if society stops shopping

from

Change preposition

show examples

malls

, where else they can find a variety of items to purchase

Change the punctuation

show examples

In addition

, so many

people

may get unemployed and leave their stores at

malls

.Mall owners,

on the other hand

, can not afford to keep all the

facilities

financially if tenants leave the chain.

As a consequence

, so many

malls

will be closed forever as now there is a website which introduces dead

malls

in the US. So,

malls

need

people

to shop in order to survive .

To sum up

people

can enjoy and have fun at the

malls

according to

a variety of entertaining stuff . But, those

facilities

would not be there if not for the shopping . So, the population should consider that.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Jul 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas to improve the flow. Using phrases like 'Furthermore' and 'Moreover' can help your writing sound more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

Try to be more precise in the introduction. Present a brief overview of the main points you will discuss, to create a roadmap for the reader.

task achievement

It's important to balance your arguments. Ensure that points supporting and opposing the idea are equally developed to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and punctuation issues to polish your writing.

task achievement

Your personal example as a shopkeeper is valuable. Consider adding more such examples or data that are relevant to the topic to further support your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points.

task achievement

You've provided relevant examples, like your personal experience as a shopkeeper, which adds depth to your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs for each point, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

352 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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in the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensave the survival of local languages and if so, how?

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some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e.g. cost, environments. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.