As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It has become increasingly common for people to access the
news
electronically rather than with traditional
newspapers
with many commentators
suggest
Wrong verb form
suggesting
show examples
that
this
could mean the end for
newspapers
. I would agree with
this
and think that in the future
newspapers
will disappear.
Firstly
,
news
accessed online is much more
interaction
Replace the word
interactive
show examples
than in a newspaper.
Readers
can comment on stories, and
discussing
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
items on message boards.
Furthermore
, many more photographs can included with a
story
with many sites even give
readers
the opportunity to upload their own photos and videos.
Secondly
,
news
read on the internet
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
much more current than in a newspaper. It is possible for
readers
to read about stories as they happen and watch the development.
This
is compared with
newspapers
which only report on the previous
days
Change to a genitive case
day's
days'
show examples
events.
As a result
, they seem increasingly dated even before they are on sale.
Finally
, online
news
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
readers
much more choice and
a more information
Remove the article
more information
a piece of more information
show examples
. It is possible to read the same
story
from a range of different sources on the internet. Some people suggest that
this
is better than only reading the
story
in one newspaper as you can compare different ones and have different viewpoints and the way stories are presented.
This
is compared with traditional
newspapers
which might only report one side of the
story
. In conclusion, I would argue that in the future it will become increasingly difficult to sell
newspapers
. Because traditional
newspapers
will not be able to compete they will disappear.
Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on

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clarity
Improve the complexity and variety of sentence structures to enhance clarity and engagement for the reader.
accuracy
Ensure consistent grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'news read on the internet is much more current').
content
Include more specific examples to effectively support your points.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, adequately framing the essay's argument.
clarity
The essay presents logical and clear ideas, such as the timeliness and interactivity of online news.
content
The essay effectively discusses multiple perspectives on the topic, comparing online news with traditional newspapers.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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