In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental?
At the present time, there is an increasing tendency of people to discuss their financial conditions in daily life. In my point of view,
this
stems from a widespread lack of self-awareness and is clearly detrimental due to
the opportunity cost it creates.
The main reason why people are inclined to talk about financial deals is in all society. The sense of modesty and feeling of demureness in the past,
influenced today’s perception of what is prohibited and allowed. Remove the comma
apply
For instance
, one of the most disseminated topics among humans is cryptocurrencies, stock equities, the price of gold, and other types of investment. Unfortunately, more often people converse about its purpose to show their superiority, and express their frustrations, meanwhile forgetting about their opponent's existence. Sooner or later they will own badly effective habits.
In my way of thinking, discussing finances in daily life is not that worthwhile compared to other topics. Valuable financial research can be done in more professional environments or online, while
in everyday conversations they should not be opened. For example
, conversation about various stories, delving into more deep topics related to art or politics or telling jokes to each other would give much greater value to meeting. It would help to improve self-intelligence and basic understanding of life rules.
In summary, the tendency to discuss personal finances reflects a modern form of self-indulgence and often hinders conversations about more enjoyable or significant subjects. Of course, these observations do not hold true for everyone.Submitted by moon2014angel on
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task achievement
The essay presents a thoughtful response to the topic by explaining why people talk about financial matters and providing examples. However, some points could be further developed with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument. For instance, providing concrete instances of how discussing finances can lead to opportunity costs would enhance the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized and has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the coherence can be improved by ensuring each point is logically connected. For example, transition words and phrases could be used more effectively to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
While the essay makes some good points, it sometimes lacks specificity and detail. Providing more relevant and specific examples would make the argument more compelling. Additionally, working on sentence variety could help maintain the reader's interest throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides a clear stance on the issue, which is a strong point for task response. It clearly outlines the reasons behind the phenomenon and provides an evaluation of its effects.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and restates the writer's opinion, providing a satisfactory closure to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction engages the reader by clearly stating the topic and the writer's viewpoint, setting a clear direction for the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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