Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The debate over individuals' attitudes towards each other in different settings has sparked considerable controversy.
While
some advocate that they should remain competitive, I, Linking Words
along with
others contend that prioritizing cooperation would be most conducive to their improvement as Linking Words
this
essay Linking Words
further
elaborates on.
Linking Words
To begin
with, putting significant emphasis on coordination would accelerate the journey to success. Linking Words
This
is mainly Linking Words
due to
the freedom Linking Words
people
would have to seek assistance from others and draw on their sophistications Use synonyms
such
as their previous constructive relationships, to achieve their personal ambitions. Linking Words
Hence
, they wouldn't feel loneliness throughout their journey, which entices them Linking Words
further
. Linking Words
Moreover
, being able to Linking Words
work
together contributes to a more harmonious society. Use synonyms
This
harmony would foster mutual understanding among individuals, enhancing empathy. Linking Words
Consequently
, Linking Words
people
would enjoy a peaceful mentality, which provides them with a greater capacity to utilize in their Use synonyms
work
or study, Use synonyms
further
enhancing their chance of achieving their milestones. Iranian educational institutes, Linking Words
for instance
, value coordination over achievement which has resulted in higher academic attainments among students.
Linking Words
However
, some may claim that creating a fiercely competitive environment instills motivation in Linking Words
people
, and pushes them to their limits. They believe Use synonyms
this
mindset encourages them to aim higher and step out of their comfort zones, highering the chance of having more attainments in their lives. Linking Words
As a result
, they'd enjoy a boosted confidence, Linking Words
coupled with
economic stability. To illustrate, American companies always prioritize creating a competitive atmosphere in workplaces so that employees would feel the need to push themselves Linking Words
further
, bringing both fame and fortune to their company. Linking Words
Although
there is some accuracy to Linking Words
this
notion, in severe cases, it comes at the cost of jeopardizing human mental health Linking Words
due to
the potential inability of some; Linking Words
therefore
, the situation calls for maintaining a balance between encouraging Linking Words
people
to be cohesive and competitive.
In conclusion, some argue that making Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
work
against each other incentivizes them to go the extra mile, I firmly believe they can enjoy holistic development if they are encouraged to Use synonyms
work
together. Use synonyms
This
togetherness would not only speedify their success journey but Linking Words
also
improve their mental health which is essential when striving for a successful life.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Although the essay is well-organized, there are a few places where sentences can be more concise to enhance clarity. For instance, 'they wouldn't feel loneliness throughout their journey, which entices them further' can be simplified to 'they wouldn't feel lonely, which encourages them further.' This makes the ideas more straightforward and easier to follow.
task achievement
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors to elevate the overall quality of the essay. For example, 'highering the chance' should be 'increasing the chance,' and 'speedify' should be replaced with 'accelerate.' Proofreading for such details could make a significant difference.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, providing a clear stance and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced view by discussing both perspectives and includes relevant specific examples to support the arguments.