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Band 7

The pie charts below show the different types of courses, which were followed by the students during the years of 1984, 1994 and 2004

The pie charts below show the different types of courses, which were followed by the students during the years of 1984, 1994 and 2004
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The pie chart compares the shares of four major
courses
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 studied by the students in three different years :1984 , 1994 and 2004 .
Oveall
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Overall
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 by 2004 popularity of
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face to
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face-to-face
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face
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courses
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 had ranked first ,and
while
Linking Words
 that of mixed media ones increased dramatically , there was a corresponding drop in that of correspondence
courses
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 , the figure for online
courses
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 remained stable
although
Linking Words
 they didn’t exist
at
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in
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 the first year .
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Face to
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Face-to-face
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face
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courses
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 saw a slow drop from 67% in 1984 to 54% in 1994 and ended at 40% by the end of the period .
similarly
Linking Words
, there was a negligible rise in mixed media ones from 13% to 35% .
In contrast
Linking Words
 , a marginal drop was seen in the share of correspondence
courses
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 from 20% to 10%,and
while
Linking Words
 online
courses
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 didn’t exist
at
Change preposition
in
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 the first year,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 hit a plateau
at
Change preposition
of
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 20% during the period .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words courses, face with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
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