At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, the residents of many nations have a huge amount of young
people
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in comparison to elder
people
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.
This
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structure presents both advantages and disadvantages.
However
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, I strongly believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks for the reasons described below. One major advantage of having a large number of young
people
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is economic growth
,
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apply
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because young adults can work longer and harder than older
community
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communities
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and that will balance a
country
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's workforce.
For instance
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, a
country
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named the "United States", has a vast amount of skilled young
individuals
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, because that
country
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's business growing faster than other countries. The main reason is young
people
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in that
country
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can work more efficiently than elder
people
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because of that one reason the mentioned
country
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increasing economic growth for young
people
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. Despite these benefits, there are many challenges
due to
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younger
people
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being more focused on modern
cultures
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rather than traditional
cultures
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, and because of that traditional
cultures
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are disappearing from many countries. Older
people
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know about traditions, if older
individuals
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not
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do not
did not
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work on their traditions the result could lead disappearance of many traditional works.
For example
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, There was a city called "Mymensingh", a few decades ago many
individuals
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were involved in crafting handmade hats, but now when they become older citizens and because of the advancement of technology and youth interest the tradition has been lost a very long time ago. In conclusion, these days, some countries have a larger proportion of youth.
While
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, elderly
people
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are less in proportion, because of that many traditions have gone forever.
Nevertheless
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, young
people
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bring economic growth and if older
individuals
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teach younger
people
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how to maintain and balance traditional
cultures
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and modern
cultures
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then
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, the advantages of youth don't outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on

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task achievement
To improve task response, make sure to address all aspects of the question, including a more detailed discussion on whether advantages truly outweigh the disadvantages, and back this up with additional relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more varied linking words and phrases. This will help in making ideas flow better between and within paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear stance on the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed, establishing a solid foundation for the essay.
task achievement
The essay responds directly to the task and attempts to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of a youthful population, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
There is an effort to maintain logical development throughout the essay, which contributes to its overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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