Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

often happens that many
people
in developing countries are forced to die as they are not able to access necessary
medicines
due to
poverty.
While
some
people
believe that their prices should be sold at lower prices by drug industries, I partially agree with
this
, for some effective
medicines
promote individual health despite the fact that they can weaken their immunization systems from the frequent intakes of chap
medicines
. On the one hand, lower prices of medicine can bring about
a
Correct article usage
apply
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numerous
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
as they can prevent some severe symptoms.
In other words
, a number of
people
's lives can be saved thanks to medical pills which can ameliorate serious pains and lower their fever.
For instance
, the prevalent injection of vaccines has saved many
people
from getting threatening infections, which could have killed thousands of
people
.
This
will help not only reduce the mortality rate in poor nations but
also
promote the peace of the society
as well as
the growth of the economy.
Thus
, the growing availability of inexpensive
medicines
leads to the prosperity of individual life and extended longevity without fear of lethal disease.
On the other hand
, easy access to cheaper
medicines
can deteriorate their physical conditions as they lack the ability to protect their own life. Indeed, excessive dependence on medical pills discourages
people
from fighting against some illnesses, using their own immune systems.
Therefore
, they are more likely to lose control in protecting their life, which makes it easier for them to get infected or worsen their symptoms.
Furthermore
, some potential side effects are quite harsh, making it difficult to cope with. These effects can vary from a high fever, and a stomachache, to the feeling of nausea and dizziness. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that the cost of
medicines
should be reduced so more
people
in developing countries can access and able to prevent serious symptoms before they suffer.
However
, their too much reliance on inexpensive pills can harm them from their aggravated immune systems and unexpected side effects.
Submitted by mizuho on

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task achievement
Your essay nicely covers both sides of the argument, but ensure every key point is supported by clear evidence and examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay should maintain consistent terminology, avoiding variations like 'pills' and 'medicines' to prevent confusion.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and provide a brief conclusion that summarizes key points effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to guide the reader through your argument.
logical structure
You have presented balanced arguments by discussing both potential benefits and drawbacks of reduced drug prices.
supported main points
You have successfully used examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
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