Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living . What is your opinion about this? What other times in history would be interesting to live in?

Life on earth is unpredictable, but living
worthy
Correct article usage
a worthy
show examples
life is one's personal choice. Some individuals find the current time as one of the best
times
to be alive
across
Change preposition
in
show examples
history. I strongly support
this
thought, owing to the living conditions that
humans
have nurtured over all these years. I cannot stress enough how technology and healthcare have made the lives of
humans
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bliss on
this
planet. Hundreds of years ago, people avoided long sea voyages
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fear of being away from their loved ones for months if not years. But today, we have phones and the internet, that let everyone talk to their loved ones diminishing any boundaries. Those were
also
the
times
when many
humans
lost their lives to deadly diseases.
For example
, the great famine in Bengal wiped
families
Change preposition
out families
show examples
and generations, or the spread of Jaundice in the city of Shirdi in India. At present, we have medications available for
such
diseases, all thanks to the countless research. Though there are areas in which
humans
have not surmounted natural challenges, we, as a species are always learning and improving. If I had the opportunity to be able to bend the space-time mesh and travel across the human timeline, I would pick the Egyptian era. The sight of
Pharoahs
Correct your spelling
Pharaohs
and their reign excites me.
Certainly
Add a comma
Certainly,
show examples
humans
would
then
have to follow countless customs and traditions. But the rich cultural aspect of those
times
cannot be compared to
this
silicone-driven world. Though those
times
had poor human living standards, everyone would have probably gotten a pyramid of their own, satisfying
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the personal gratification that we all seek today in our concrete homes.
To conclude
,
humans
have come very far from where their ancestors lived. The sun
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
once used to curse villagers through fake oracles, is now the source of sustainable energy generation. We as
humans
, are already living in our most comfortable time, all set to brush past the moons and stars, as our future generations crave
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an even more
luxorious
Correct your spelling
luxurious
lifestyle.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully elaborated with relevant examples. For instance, the second paragraph mentions healthcare advancements and disease prevention, but it could be expanded with more specific contemporary examples, such as the impact of vaccines or modern treatments.
coherence cohesion
Use transitions more consistently between points and paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. For instance, when transitioning to the Egyptian era discussion, explicitly connect it to the main topic by discussing how it contrasts with modern times.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and simplify complex sentences to avoid any potential misunderstanding. For example, the phrase, '...as our future generations crave for an even more luxorious lifestyle.' could be rewritten for clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the prompt and provides a thorough response, discussing both the present time and a historical period of interest.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This aids the reader in following the argument smoothly.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as historical references to the Bengal famine and the rise of technology, enhance the argument and provide substantial support to the claims made.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!