Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living . What is your opinion about this? What other times in history would be interesting to live in?

#people #time #history #times

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Life on earth is unpredictable, but living

worthy

Correct article usage

a worthy

show examples

life is one's personal choice. Some individuals find the current time as one of the best

times

to be alive

across

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history. I strongly support

this

thought, owing to the living conditions that

humans

have nurtured over all these years. I cannot stress enough how technology and healthcare have made the lives of

humans

Correct article usage

apply

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bliss on

this

planet. Hundreds of years ago, people avoided long sea voyages

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fear of being away from their loved ones for months if not years. But today, we have phones and the internet, that let everyone talk to their loved ones diminishing any boundaries. Those were

also

the

times

when many

humans

lost their lives to deadly diseases.

For example

, the great famine in Bengal wiped

families

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out families

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and generations, or the spread of Jaundice in the city of Shirdi in India. At present, we have medications available for

such

diseases, all thanks to the countless research. Though there are areas in which

humans

have not surmounted natural challenges, we, as a species are always learning and improving. If I had the opportunity to be able to bend the space-time mesh and travel across the human timeline, I would pick the Egyptian era. The sight of

Pharoahs

Correct your spelling

Pharaohs

and their reign excites me.

Certainly

Add a comma

Certainly,

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humans

would

then

have to follow countless customs and traditions. But the rich cultural aspect of those

times

cannot be compared to

this

silicone-driven world. Though those

times

had poor human living standards, everyone would have probably gotten a pyramid of their own, satisfying

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apply

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the personal gratification that we all seek today in our concrete homes.

To conclude

humans

have come very far from where their ancestors lived. The sun

that

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apply

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once used to curse villagers through fake oracles, is now the source of sustainable energy generation. We as

humans

, are already living in our most comfortable time, all set to brush past the moons and stars, as our future generations crave

for

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apply

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an even more

luxorious

Correct your spelling

luxurious

lifestyle.

Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on Wed Jul 10 2024

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task achievement

Ensure all ideas are fully elaborated with relevant examples. For instance, the second paragraph mentions healthcare advancements and disease prevention, but it could be expanded with more specific contemporary examples, such as the impact of vaccines or modern treatments.

coherence cohesion

Use transitions more consistently between points and paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. For instance, when transitioning to the Egyptian era discussion, explicitly connect it to the main topic by discussing how it contrasts with modern times.

coherence cohesion

Clarify and simplify complex sentences to avoid any potential misunderstanding. For example, the phrase, '...as our future generations crave for an even more luxorious lifestyle.' could be rewritten for clarity.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear stance on the prompt and provides a thorough response, discussing both the present time and a historical period of interest.

coherence cohesion

The ideas are logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This aids the reader in following the argument smoothly.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as historical references to the Bengal famine and the rise of technology, enhance the argument and provide substantial support to the claims made.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living . What is your opinion about this? What other times in history would be interesting to live in?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries around the world men and women are having children later in life.What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?