IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Do you think your country is doing its best to look atfer the environment?

#country #atfer #environment
A clean
environment
 is essential for healthy living. Air pollution can cause respiratory
diseases
 and cancer, among other problems and
diseases
. Water pollution can lead to typhoid, diarrheal
diseases
, and other water-related
diseases
.
Therefore
 we should keep our
environment
 clean and protected. The Earth is changing; our
environment
 is dying if you will.
However
, once the planet dies it will remain and it will be all of humanity and living beings that may be exterminated. The need and importance of environmental
protection
 are extremely evident. We must preserve our
environment
. Every
one
 of us needs to take on the task of protecting the
environment
.
Environment
protection
 consists of trillions of small, everyday choices, ways to save our mother earth, efforts by billions of persons on the whole Earth. Environmental
protection
 refers to any measure
that is
 taken to conserve, maintain or preserve the state of the
environment
.
Protection
 of the
environment
 can be done through reducing pollutants or anything that leads to its degradation. Conservation of the
environment
 aims at keeping it safe and healthy. You protect the
environment
 through focused efforts directed at:: 1) Using an alternative
energy
 source:
One
 of the big ways of how to help the
environment
, of course, is moving to non-fossil fuels. Everything from solar to nuclear is a feasible choice.2) Using efficient and durable technology.
Use
 high efficient bulbs
such
 as LEDs that
use
 much less
energy
 and
last
 many more years reducing manufacturing needs is
one
 of the ways to reduce pollution.3) Different transport choices: Walk, bicycle or drive alternative
energy
 or
energy
-efficient cars. Take the bus or fill your car with people as opposed to going to work being the only
one
 in the vehicle. Discontinue types of practices that harm the
environment
.4) Reusing, repairing, and recycling:
This
 speaks for itself as do the
energy
 savings; adopt bulk buying to reduce packing requirements; Reduce the number of things you buy,
thus
 cutting in
use
 of materials; Throw out as little as possible
thus
 cutting on waste generation; Donate or recycle where you can; 5) Quality orientation in buying quality merchandises which have a longer life cycle:: Buying
one
 better quality item is cheaper than buying two inferior units over the same time period. 6) Choosing organic: We are killing our planet with the same solutions that we
use
 to control our pests. By conservation of the
environment
 we could really make a change.7) Spreading awareness on
environment
protection
.
Submitted by ephearort on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider structuring the essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or case studies to support your main points and make them more relatable.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed and clearly connected to your overall argument.
task achievement
The essay covers a broad range of important points regarding environmental protection.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the importance of environmental protection.
task achievement
Several practical suggestions are offered for how individuals can contribute to environmental protection.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: