The chart below show the changes of electrical appliance and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019 .

The chart below show the changes of electrical appliance and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019 .
The line graph illustrates the proportion of families who utilized electric tools, which are washing machines, refrigerators, and
vacuum
cleaners
,
along with
the number of hours occupied to do the housework every week in a particular country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
,
it is clear that
at the end
of the period, all families in the country managed to own a refrigerator and a
vacuum
cleaner,
while
the percentage of ownership of all appliances tended to increase over a decade, which makes them
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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less time in doing housework activities at the same period.
According to
the data,
it is clear that
the number of households with refrigerators and
vacuum
cleaners
showed a similar pattern,
while
there were no
family
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families
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who owned any
refrigerator
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refrigerators
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and one-third of them had
vacuum
cleaners
in 1920, the rate grew until everyone had
such
appliances in 2019.
In addition
, the rate of people who had washing
machine
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machines
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in their
house
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houses
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rose as well,
although
not as much as those who owned refrigerators and
vacuum
cleaners
, from 40% of them in 1920 to around 75% in 2019.
On the other hand
, the number of hours families
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spent
for
Change preposition
apply
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doing their household matters,
such
as washing clothes, preparing meals, and cleaning, experienced a decline. From 50 hours per week in 1920, the amount of time dropped significantly during the first forty years by 60% compared to the beginning of the period.
Furthermore
, it had decreased slightly by 20% for the remaining sixty years.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that, such, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words vacuum, cleaners with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • reduction
  • technological advancements
  • manual labor
  • household tasks
  • social and economic impacts
  • gender roles
  • participation
  • leisure time
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