The first smartphone was released in 1992. By then year 2020 there may be as many as 2.5 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the gadgets' popularity has seen a long-term increasing tendency all over the world. There is an opinion that people use smartphones for a multitude of tasks, and it significantly impacts their ability to think. I totally agree with
this
statement and the following essay will explain how new technologies entail the degradation of our collective intelligence.
To begin
with, by using gadgets, we can probably forget how to write correctly. To put it differently, almost all mobile phones have the function to replace a wrong word or phrase with a grammatically correct one, and
this
feature is set in a variety of applications as a default function. To illustrate
this
point, a well-known
programme
Correct your spelling
program
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"Microsoft Word" corrects people's writing as soon as they click the space button, but it does not even highlight to users, where they made a mistake.
As a result
, humans totally rely on
this
application, so they do not learn, how to avoid the same issues in the future.
In addition
, recently, several companies have finished developing translators, which can recognise
human's
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human
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speech.
In other words
, in case a person would like to speak with a foreigner, he does not have to learn his language, as it is possible to translate any phrase in several seconds with a mobile phone or special device. As a case in point, the same devices are widely used in Japan with the youthful, when they meet their friends from different countries.
Thus
,
this
factor does not motivate the young Japanese to learn foreign languages, because new technologies tackle
this
complication, so many of them do not know the second one. In conclusion, the movement towards the popularity of smartphones is all too familiar nowadays. Some people believe that they negatively impact our basic knowledge and skills
due to
the fact that we are dependent on them for many general tasks. I completely agree with
this
point, as there is
the
Correct article usage
a
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degradation
of
Change preposition
in
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our ability to write correctly,
as well as
we are losing the motivation to learn other languages.
Submitted by marie.pissanova on

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task achievement
Ensure that all examples directly support your main arguments. For instance, elaborate on how reliance on auto-correct specifically deteriorates spelling skills.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between ideas, especially between paragraphs, to maintain a seamless flow of discussion.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and the writer's stance, presenting a clear thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion provide a well-rounded overview of the essay's arguments, enhancing clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear topic sentences introducing each paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective intelligence
  • reliant on technology
  • problem-solving
  • problem-solving
  • cognitive skills
  • critical thinking
  • knowledge acquisition
  • connectivity
  • knowledge sharing
  • cognitive overload
  • memory retention
  • brain-training apps
  • digital literacy
  • multitask
  • attention span
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