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Band 6.5

In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part an any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion

#parts #world #coverage #sport #television #people #part
Nowadays, developed telecommunication, broadcasting, and other mass media satisfy
sports
 fans' interest in different games. It is considered that passive watching discourages youth from active participation in any
sports
 themselves. In my opinion, watching
sports
 on TV is more beneficial than harmful for several reasons.
Firstly
, some kinds of
sports
 are very rare and are played in limited countries, like squash, polo, curling, and
tennis
. Only via TV does a person have the ability to get acquainted with these
sports
. By showing these competitions, young people enlarge their knowledge and learn the regulations and players of the game. Though people may not play these specific games, watching them is accessible to everyone, regardless of their location.
For instance
, I lived in a rural town with no
tennis
 or badminton courts, but after watching a
tennis
 tournament, I became interested and started playing
tennis
 and badminton in our yard with my sister and cousins.
Secondly
, it is important to mention the inspiring effect of various
sports
 players, whom a wide range of people observe during broadcasts. Football may be the most distinguished and popular game, with players inspiring millions of teenagers. Just recall Pele, who embodied the dreams of many poor children by becoming a soccer legend from a barefoot child. During the broadcast of his matches, crime rates in Brazil and around the world were minimized. In a nutshell, watching
sports
 on TV or the Internet is effective and useful, and increased interest proves it.
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task achievement
While you have addressed the prompt well with your opinion clearly stated and supported by examples, consider addressing counterarguments or alternative perspectives to enrich your arguments further. This will add depth to your essay and demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more transition words and phrases to link ideas between paragraphs and sentences effectively. This helps in creating a smoother flow in your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, presenting the topic and your standpoint clearly.
relevant specific examples
The examples you provided, particularly about your personal experience and the mention of Pele, are relevant and help to illustrate your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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