IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely believed that living in a country where you are not fluent in its local
language
Use synonyms
 can lead to crucial social and practical challenges. I am in favour of
this
Linking Words
 statement and my reasons will be discussed in the following paragraphs. First of all, the
language
Use synonyms
 barrier can prevent you from socializing with the locals,
hence
Linking Words
 creating difficulty in making friends. Having a social circle is essential for foreigners because they usually live far away from their support system,
such
Linking Words
 as family. Not being able to build meaningful relationships with other people might eventually cause mental health problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, many Indonesian students in Germany are stressed because they are not able to adapt to the social and academic life in Germany
due to
Linking Words
 the absence of German friends.
Secondly
Linking Words
, living in a foreign country with poor local
language
Use synonyms
 skills can hinder you from giving important information during an emergency. Unexpected situations,
such
Linking Words
 as accidents, can certainly happen anytime. To cite an example, an immigrant can get involved in a car crash,
therefore
Linking Words
 he needs an immediate procedure from a doctor.
However
Linking Words
, the failure to explain what he actually feels
due to
Linking Words
 limited
language
Use synonyms
 ability can put medical personnel in difficulty to decide the most appropriate treatments. In conclusion, an immigrant or a foreigner can face many difficulties both in social and practical contexts if they do not have sufficient skills in languages spoken in the country they live in. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because
such
Linking Words
 a circumstance can cause problems in socializing and conveying essential information during emergency situations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure throughout the essay. Paragraphs should be well-organized and ideas should be clearly connected with cohesive devices
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present with a clear thesis and summary, respectively. However, aim for more impactful opening and closing statements by possibly including a hook in the introduction and a call-to-action or prediction in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support main points with detailed examples or evidence. While examples given are relevant, seek to provide more elaborated instances or personal anecdotes to enhance the argument.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task adequately. The essay provides a position and extends arguments, but it could address potential counterarguments to strengthen the response.
Task Achievement
Express ideas clearly and comprehensively. Work on varying sentence structures and using a range of vocabulary to articulate points with greater clarity.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to substantiate your arguments. The examples provided are suitable; however, incorporating additional facts, research, or diverse illustrations could further solidify the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: