All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The initiative of allowing every major business to serve local inhabitants by providing sports and
community
Use synonyms
equipment has become controversial in the present day. Despite some positive aspects of
this
Linking Words
idea, I would argue that serving citizens is the responsibility of the government and companies may not be appropriate to carry out
this
Linking Words
mission
due to
Linking Words
some rationales.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the governments obviously should take charge of improving citizens’ well-being through taxes from countries’ individuals. Governments are elected to enhance infrastructure and equip more amenities, aiming to enhance both the physical and mental health of local people through some strategies of having more construction related to sports and local facilities.
This
Linking Words
ensures all walks of life regardless any socioeconomic status can have access to these facilities which could directly encourage locals to do regular physical activities and strengthen the
community
Use synonyms
bond.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in terms of all large businesses which mainly concentrate on their interests rather than
community
Use synonyms
welfare, leading to some potentially detrimental implications in both immediate and long-term periods. Those companies may lack expertise in operating and applying the proper equipment for the local
community
Use synonyms
which may have a heavy toll on mismanagement and pose some safety hazards, underutilization, and maintaining processes later.
Instead
Linking Words
, large organizations should support the locals by using their strength and other means
such
Linking Words
as charitable donations or sponsorships with the ultimate goal of fostering
overall
Linking Words
health and maintaining a suitable role between government and enterprises. In conclusion, I completely disagree that big companies take responsibility for providing sports and
community
Use synonyms
facilities which should be the government’s commitment. The duty must be a balance between the government’s mission and the strength of organizations to enhance local people’s lives.
Submitted by thanhtu.thcsbt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will enrich your essay and make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to further refine the logical structure of your argument. Each paragraph should follow logically from the one before it, with clear transitions between them.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively outline your position. The essay has a good overall structure.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete, and your main points are supported and elaborated upon.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: