IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

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It is considered by many that social
media
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 sites bring detrimental consequences towards both individuals and the community.
However
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,
this
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 essay disagrees with the statement because social networking sites can provide information or
news
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 faster to society and valuable educational resources for
students
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.
To begin
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 with, various
platforms
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 and accounts disseminate timely local and global
news
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, enhancing societal awareness without the need for traditional
media
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 consumption.
This
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 reduces paper usage in newspapers and promotes environmental conservation.
However
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, it is crucial to verify sources and report false information, as fake
news
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 accounts can significantly mislead users.
For example
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, a recent study found that approximately 32% of Instagram accounts spread fake
news
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.
Moreover
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, social
media
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 offers substantial benefits to
students
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 struggling with academic performance. Educational videos on
platforms
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 like YouTube and Instagram are freely accessible, aiding comprehension for those who struggle in fast-paced classroom settings.
Additionally
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, online
platforms
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 facilitate convenient access to tutoring services, benefiting
students
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 who lack transportation for physical classes.
For instance
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, many Malaysian
students
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 who excelled in their SPM examination attribute their success to participating in online tuition and using
media
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 responsibly. In conclusion, despite concerns, the benefits of social networking sites in delivering
news
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 quickly and providing educational opportunities outweigh the negative impact. These
platforms
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 serve as valuable resources accessible at the fingertips of users.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch small grammatical errors, such as 'It is considered by many that social media sites bring detrimental consequences towards both individuals and the community.' A more concise way to phrase this might be: 'Many people consider social media sites to be detrimental to individuals and the community.'
content
Try to expand on the potential negative impacts briefly to show you've considered both sides thoroughly, even though you disagree with the statement. This will demonstrate a balanced argument.
conclusion
Adjust the concluding sentence to emphasize the balance of your arguments and directly reflect your stance. Consider saying: 'While concerns about social networking sites exist, their benefits for information dissemination and education significantly outweigh any negative impacts.'
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
examples
You have provided relevant and specific examples to back up your points, making your argument stronger.
content
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, addressing the task effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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