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Band 6

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using socia media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #media #relationships #society #socia #communication
There is no doubt these days about the effect of social
media
personal
Change preposition
on personal
show examples
 relationships and community.
People
 have been affected
as a result
from
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of
show examples
 the increase of using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
media
.
this
 essay will clarify that the benefits are more than the drawbacks. On the one hand, one of the negative sides of social
media
 is there is a lot of
information
 and
news
 which may be incorrect and most individuals would face many challenges to investigate these. Each one can use social
media
such
 as Facebook to provide some
news
 about societal issues,
this
 means the
news
 could be wrong or correct, but many
people
 do not have the tools to know the truth about
this
news
.
For example
, my friends spread some
information
 about Saudi Arabia's government allowing women to drive cars in Saudi Arabia. After some days,
this
information
 was incorrect. There is a lot of fake
information
 on social
media
 that has affected
people
 and communities.
On the other hand
, there are lots of advantages to utilizing social
media
.
firstly
, there is more freedom for
people
 to share their opinions about any issue, and most citizens can explain their views about many problems.
In addition
, many
people
 utilize social
media
 to make new friends from other countries and chat with them without limitation,
this
 is a positive development for
people
.
For instance
, my brother
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 friends with a lot of individuals around the world and he plays with them some games. all of these advantages play an important role in developing
people
 and communities. In conclusion, using social
media
such
 as Snapchat or Instagram has advantages and disadvantages, but the benefits of that outweigh the drawbacks
Submitted by a2100b2100 on

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content
Try to elaborate on your main points with more comprehensive explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
language
Avoid minor grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes to enhance the clarity of your essay. For example, phrases like 'this means the news could be wrong or correct...' should be clearer and more concise.
structure
Ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Use more transitional phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which give a solid framework to the arguments presented.
content
Specific examples are used to support the main points, and these add depth to your argument.
content
The advantages and disadvantages are both explored, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
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