It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Many contend that securing financial stability is essential for
individuals
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of all ages. I am generally in agreement with
this
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contention though I would concede that saving money can be taken to illogical excesses. Undue emphasis on saving prioritizes satisfaction in a possible future over enjoyment of the present moment. In most countries,
individuals
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begin to save and plan for retirement as young adults.
This
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approach means that by the time they have enough time to enjoy themselves, they are likely older, unhealthy, and less capable of living an active
life
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. A person who saves for a comfortable retirement by abstaining from travel, going out with friends regularly, and spending on luxuries might discover later in
life
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that a sizeable
savings
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account is no substitute for a full
life
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.
However
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,
this
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assumes an extreme approach to saving
that is
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rare for the vast majority of people who can typically balance basic fiscal responsibility with freer spending habits.
Moreover
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, saving money allows
individuals
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of all ages to safeguard the flexibility to pursue a variety of passions in
life
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. Those who have not inherited generational wealth and do not commit themselves to saving, will almost undoubtedly have to work long hours for many years. Yet, if a worker slowly accumulates
savings
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then
Linking Words
that allows them to make investments and generate passive income streams. These alternative ways of earning money can give them options in
life
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. They might decide to quit or work fewer hours and pursue a passion project. They might
also
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be more inclined to be entrepreneurial or adventurous in their choice of vocation. All these options lead to a richer and more varied
life
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that contrasts markedly with working diligently towards retirement. In conclusion, despite the possible risks of fixating on
savings
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to the detriment of quality of
life
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, there is value in saving wisely for all
individuals
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. These
savings
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will likely vary in size depending on the needs and circumstances of each person.
Submitted by sreejas0104 on

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General
Ensure balance between saving and spending is communicated more clearly to enhance arguments.
Task Response
Consider including more specific anecdotes or examples to illustrate points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make stronger connections between paragraphs to strengthen cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion.
Task Response
Provides a balanced analysis of arguments for and against excessive saving.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical progression of ideas and clear articulations throughout.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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