Nowadays due technology the way people interact with each other has changed is it a good or bad development, give your opinion with relevant example ?
In today's modern world where social platforms are growing at a very fast pace because of advanced technology. I believe that
this
has positively impacted relationship building, by making it more accessible and convenient. The essay will discuss two of the prime changes brought in by such
technologies.
One of the major positive transformations,
is because of internet connectivity where a person can connect with anyone he wants, present in any part of the world, that to within a few seconds. Remove the comma
apply
For example
: Initially
when people wanted to communicate they used to do this
by posting letters, which would take days together to be delivered. However
, after internet connection now with the help of Facebook, Instagram, Hype, WhatsApp, Gmail etc has made this
process really fast. Therefore
, a drastic reduction in communication time has proven to be an advantage to this
generation.
Secondly
, now we can have real-time interactions with each other with the help of live video chats. Moreover
, this
has helped the schools and offices to conduct online classes and meetings. For instance
, during COVID-19 2019-2020, when there was a worldwide lockdown implemented, as the result apps like Zoom and Google Meet, have proven to be useful for teachers to conduct online classes. Hence
, such
applications have made online teaching possible. Furthermore
, due to
this
employees could do
work from home during Unnecessary verb
apply
pandemic
situation.
In conclusion, the benefits that humanity has got from these technologies, Add an article
the pandemic
a pandemic
such
as delivering messages at high speed and live visual interface, are noteworthy. But in order to avoid misuse these advancements should be governed strictly.Submitted by yashaswikhot on
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well. However, consider rephrasing the first sentence for better clarity. For example, 'In today's modern world, the rapid growth of social platforms driven by advanced technology has significantly impacted the way people build relationships.'
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of minor grammatical mistakes, such as 'that to within a few seconds' which should be 'that too within a few seconds.'
coherence and cohesion
Your essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. For instance, use phrases like 'Additionally,' or 'Moreover,' more strategically to enhance the flow of your arguments.
task achievement
In your conclusion, you have made a valid point about the benefits of these technologies. However, the sentence 'these advancements should be governed strictly' could be expanded to clarify what kind of governance or regulation you are recommending.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides relevant examples to support your points, such as the use of Zoom and Google Meet during the COVID-19 pandemic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow. You successfully grouped related ideas together, which adds to the clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and reaffirms your opinion, which brings the essay to a cohesive close.