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Band 5.5

Education should be free to all people amd should be paid for and managed by the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#education #people #amd #government
It is indeed true that an
education
 is one of
teh
Correct your spelling
the
 basic
requirementsfor
Correct your spelling
requirements
an
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of an
show examples
 individual being as crucial
aa
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 food, clothing and shelter. Some people
claims
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claim
show examples
 that
the
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apply
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government officials should take all the accounts for the
education
 system in the country. I completely agree with
this
 notion and will discuss
this
 in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, every nation in the world has people with low income, who are not able to send their children to school
for getting
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to get
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 an
education
. They
are insisted
Wrong verb form
insist
show examples
to send
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on sending
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 them to work
instead
 to earn money and support their family financially. So if
,
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apply
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 the government facilitates the
education
 system,
dream
Correct article usage
the dream
show examples
 of every poor child of being educated can be fulfilled.
Moreover
, it will not put any additional burden on the parents to pay school fees and other expenses related to schooling.
Furthermore
,
this
 initiative to cover the expenditure of the schooling system will assist
to make
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in making
show examples
 a great difference in
the
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apply
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society.
For instance
, it will help to narrow the gap between the rich and the poor, by providing one of the basic necessities in an individual's life at no extra cost.
Due to
this
, every kid will be able to study regardless of his
parents
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parent's
parents'
show examples
 financial status. In the future, when they grow up, they will get good jobs, some will initiate startups, and others can be professionals like lawyers, doctors, and many more. Having well-educated and responsible citizens is a boon for the whole country. These types of residents can facilitate
in
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apply
show examples
the progress of
the
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apply
show examples
economic development and will prove to be an asset to the nation. In conclusion, if the government is managing the
education
 sector, it will be very useful for its people
as well as
 the country.
This
 intention will aid in eliminating
the
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apply
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discrimination and
the
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apply
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disparities among the citizens of the state.
Submitted by simrankaurkaur450 on

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grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy to improve clarity. For example, "Some people claims that" should be "Some people claim that."
content
Provide more specific examples and statistics to strengthen your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing and credible.
content
Avoid vague terms like "some people" and instead specify who they are for a stronger task response.
structure
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay well.
cohesion
You have a logical flow between paragraphs and your main points are supported by relevant explanations.
task response
The essay addresses the prompt effectively and discusses both social and economic arguments for free education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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