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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The internet has become so efficient and popular that many people rely on it for learning. Some suggest that it could replace the use of books as the main source of knowledge for education. Do you support or oppose the opinion? Explain your position.

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Many people across the world rely on the
internet
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 as their source of knowledge
due to
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 the
internet
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 becoming very efficient and popular. Some people say that it should replace
books
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 and rely completely on the
internet
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.
However
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 completely disagree with
this
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 view
due to
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 concern for the child's health and the drawbacks of the
internet
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. First of all, childhood is an important time for physical growth. Spending too much time looking at screens can harm children's eyes in many ways
for example
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, it can cause eye strain, dryness, discomfort, and headaches. studies have shown that too much exposure to blue light can disturb sleep, which can negatively affect both their physical health and mental health. To protect children's well-being, printed
books
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 should continue to be the main source of learning for young students.
Moreover
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, the
internet
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 has many websites that contain false or misleading information. Unlike
books
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, which go through careful editing and fact-checking, online sources can sometimes be inaccurate or unreliable.
As a result
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, students may struggle to find correct answers, leading to confusion and misunderstanding.
This
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 lack of reliable information could cause them to answer questions incorrectly, both in their daily lives and during exams In conclusion, I firmly believe that the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 should not become the primary source of learning, as it cannot replace the unique and invaluable benefits of printed
books
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 in education.
Instead
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, a balanced approach that combines traditional textbooks with digital resources will create a more well-rounded and effective learning experience for students.

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grammar
Make sure to capitalize 'I' in your writing. This small detail is important for grammatical accuracy.
content
Adding more specific examples to support your points would enhance the clarity of your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific studies regarding the impact of screen time on health could strengthen your position.
coherence
To improve cohesion, try using more varied transition words to guide the reader through your points, which will also help enhance the logical flow of your essay.
structure
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and outlines the main reasons for your viewpoint, which sets a solid foundation for your essay.
content
You provided valid points regarding the potential negative impacts of excessive screen time, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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