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Band 8

as countries gave developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes why does this happen ? how does this affect society?

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In today’s society, it is widely acknowledged that family size has narrowed
due to
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 many
factors
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, especially in developed nations.
This
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 phenomenon generates many issues for society.
Firstly
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, the chief contributor to
this
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 reduction stems from external
factors
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 including economic and job pressure. The financial burden of raising a child is larger than ever before since human living standards have improved significantly.
For example
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, newlyweds can calculate the cost of nurturing their
children
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 from infancy to adulthood, so they are more likely to have fewer babies than before.
Besides
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, parents want to leave more inheritance, spend more time teaching their
children
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, and allow their
children
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 to follow better education programs. These conditions enable their
children
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 to compete more effectively in competitive job markets.
Secondly
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, other external
factors
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 contribute to
this
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 phenomenon, including public awareness and medical improvements. Higher levels of education, especially for women, lead to greater awareness of family planning methods and career opportunities, often resulting in delayed childbirth and fewer
children
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.
Moreover
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, parents do not feel the need to have more
children
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 to ensure some survive to adulthood, thanks to the prevalence of vaccines and medical advancements that prevent and cure many lethal diseases.
On the other hand
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, with smaller family sizes, parents can invest more resources in each child’s education and personal development, potentially leading to a more educated and skilled workforce.
As a result
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, a skilled workforce will promote economic growth and can be an underlying factor for the development of science, technology, and medicine.
Conversely
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, smaller family sizes are responsible for an ageing
population
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 and economic deflation. A smaller youth
population
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 can result in labour shortages, potentially deterring economic growth or even deflating the economic scale if educated generations cannot automate working processes by applying their knowledge in manufacturing and agriculture industries.
Consequently
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, an ageing
population
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 requires more healthcare and social services, increasing the need for resources from society, including retirement nurses and the national budget.
To conclude
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, the trend towards smaller family sizes in developed nations is driven by various external
factors
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,
such
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 as economic pressures and improvements in public awareness and healthcare.
While
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this
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 trend can lead to a more educated and skilled workforce, potentially boosting economic growth and technological advancements, it poses challenges, including an ageing
population
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 and potential labour shortages.

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task achievement
Consider using more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific studies or data points about the financial costs of raising children can make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the implications of an ageing population. For example, discussing the potential impacts on healthcare systems and pensions can add depth to your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain coherence. Linking phrases or words can help in guiding the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting your ideas logically and makes it easy for the reader to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the question effectively, discussing why family sizes are becoming smaller and how this affects society.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, with a good balance between discussing economic factors and social implications.
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