Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a view advocating for equal figures of university students' acceptance in order of sexuality in every majority.
This
essay will explore
this
perspective and illustrate why I strongly disagree with
this
opinion. To commence with, in
this
contemporary world, most societies endorse quality and condemn disparity in race and sex.
Whereas
, the distribution of males and females in different countries is predominantly dissimilar,
subsequently
, equivalent gender acceptance in universities will lead to discrimination.
For instance
, the rate of
women
in Russia is some a third greater than
men
hence
, female students portion will be higher than males
consequently
.
Moreover
, obviously, there is a significant difference between
men
's and
women
's abilities and talents, so unlikeliness
men
have outstanding performance in some specific jobs
while
women
are superior and some others.
furthermore
, since people study in college to seek a relevant job after graduation, some positions are more suitable for females
while
some jobs are masculine.
for example
,
however
, females are good at working with kids
due to
their superior patience,
while
men
outperform in vehicles and engine systems.
Additionally
, some majorities like midwifery are feminine, and patients
also
are more comfortable
women
whilst
men
are more professional in surgery fields.
To sum up
,
although
the given statement argues that universities should regulate students' gender equally in every subject, I firmly disagree with it,
according to
inequality in gender quota in some societies, their right to education and variety in inherent skills between
men
and
women
in addition
to jobs requirements Priorities
Submitted by ali.homayoni93 on

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task achievement
Your response addresses the task adequately, but it would be helpful to further develop some of your arguments to make a comprehensive case.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases that can disrupt the flow of your essay. Proofread your work to enhance fluency.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph has a main idea clearly supported by relevant examples or evidence. This will strengthen your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a coherent structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You successfully provide relevant examples to support your main points, which makes your argument more persuasive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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