More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is common knowledge that more
children
Use synonyms
in developed countries are becoming overweight.
This
Linking Words
trend is a serious problem for wealthy nations, posing significant
health
Use synonyms
risks.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the most serious problems associated with obesity and suggest possible solutions to address
this
Linking Words
issue. One of the most serious problems associated with obesity is the increased risk of chronic diseases.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
who are overweight are more likely to develop conditions
such
Linking Words
as diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, these
health
Use synonyms
issues can have long-term consequences, affecting their quality of life and increasing healthcare costs. Another major problem is the psychological impact. Adolescence is a crucial period for developing a positive self-image,
however
Linking Words
, being overweight can result in bullying and social isolation,
further
Linking Words
exacerbating mental
health
Use synonyms
issues. To tackle these problems, schools and governments could implement comprehensive
health
Use synonyms
education programs. Educating
children
Use synonyms
about the importance of a balanced diet and regular exercise can help them make healthier choices. Schools can
also
Linking Words
offer healthier meal options and eliminate junk food from their cafeterias.
Additionally
Linking Words
, promoting physical activity is essential. Governments can invest in public facilities
such
Linking Words
as parks and sports centres to encourage
children
Use synonyms
to be more active. Parents should
also
Linking Words
be involved by encouraging their
children
Use synonyms
to participate in physical activities and limiting their screen time. In conclusion, the rise of obesity among
children
Use synonyms
in developed countries is a serious issue with significant
health
Use synonyms
and psychological impacts.
However
Linking Words
, through comprehensive
health
Use synonyms
education and the promotion of physical activity, it is possible to address
this
Linking Words
problem effectively. Schools and parents must actively promote a healthier lifestyle for
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by eparfenenkov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To score even higher, try to add some statistical data or specific studies that support the problems associated with obesity. This will make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly by using linking words and phrases. While your essay is quite coherent, a few more connectors could enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, making it clear and easy to follow.
task achievement
The main points discussed are relevant, important, and well-supported with explanations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • heart disease
  • asthma
  • psychological impact
  • self-esteem
  • bullying
  • depression
  • nutrition
  • balanced diet
  • physical activity
  • healthcare costs
  • economic consequences
  • parental involvement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: