More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest.
It is common knowledge that more
children
in developed countries are becoming overweight. This
trend is a serious problem for wealthy nations, posing significant health
risks. This
essay will discuss the most serious problems associated with obesity and suggest possible solutions to address this
issue.
One of the most serious problems associated with obesity is the increased risk of chronic diseases. Furthermore
, children
who are overweight are more likely to develop conditions such
as diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. Thereafter
, these health
issues can have long-term consequences, affecting their quality of life and increasing healthcare costs. Another major problem is the psychological impact. Adolescence is a crucial period for developing a positive self-image, however
, being overweight can result in bullying and social isolation, further
exacerbating mental health
issues.
To tackle these problems, schools and governments could implement comprehensive health
education programs. Educating children
about the importance of a balanced diet and regular exercise can help them make healthier choices. Schools can also
offer healthier meal options and eliminate junk food from their cafeterias. Additionally
, promoting physical activity is essential. Governments can invest in public facilities such
as parks and sports centres to encourage children
to be more active. Parents should also
be involved by encouraging their children
to participate in physical activities and limiting their screen time.
In conclusion, the rise of obesity among children
in developed countries is a serious issue with significant health
and psychological impacts. However
, through comprehensive health
education and the promotion of physical activity, it is possible to address this
problem effectively. Schools and parents must actively promote a healthier lifestyle for children
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task achievement
To score even higher, try to add some statistical data or specific studies that support the problems associated with obesity. This will make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly by using linking words and phrases. While your essay is quite coherent, a few more connectors could enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, making it clear and easy to follow.
task achievement
The main points discussed are relevant, important, and well-supported with explanations.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?