some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that his money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts

It is said that some believe the government should spend their

money

elsewhere

rather than on the

arts

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it is a waste of

money

. I strongly disagree with

this

opinion

due to

its financial benefits.

Firstly

art

forms are a kind of self-expression, which is compatible with human nature. Music, artefacts, and poetry are examples of the

arts

which reflect individuals' insights.

As a result

, the works of

art

can be instinctively enjoyable for people, and if the governments pay more attention to the

art

forms in their society, people may have good mental health.

This

leads to the psychological stability of the community. Individuals in

such

a society may be in high levels of sufficiency, leading to the creation of a more developed community.

In addition

, the

arts

can be a source of income for the governments. By holding

art

festivals, including performing and visual

arts

or literature, people from all over the world can be motivated to visit or participate in the festivals. It would be a great opportunity for the governments to earn more

money

and have a dynamic economy.

However

, some say that investing

money

in the

arts

governmnts

Correct your spelling

governments

government

can be a waste of

money

, and it is not an important issue. But I strongly believe that it cannot be true. Because the

arts

can play positive and significant roles in the mental health and economy of the community.

Submitted by hg1984 on Thu Jul 18 2024

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introduction conclusion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that you present opposing views in a more balanced way. This can help demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the issue.

relevant specific examples

While your points are relevant and supported, adding more specific examples could strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning specific art festivals that have boosted the economy would make your essay more convincing.

logical structure

To achieve a higher score in coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. This will make your essay flow more smoothly.

complete response

Your task response is strong as you clearly addressed the prompt and provided a complete response.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your main ideas are clear and comprehensively presented, making your argument easy to follow and understand.

supported main points

Your essay supports the main points effectively, making it persuasive and logical.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that his money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?