In many countries it is now illegal to advetise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #advetise #alcohol

In many countries, it is now illegal to advertise

alcohol

. I agree with

this

idea because it helps public

health

and society.

Firstly

, banning

alcohol

ads

can improve public

health

. Drinking

alcohol

is linked to many

health

problems, like liver disease and cancer. Without

alcohol

ads

, young people might find

alcohol

less appealing.

For example

, in France, teenage drinking went down after

alcohol

ads

were banned.

This

shows that fewer

ads

can lead to healthier choices and fewer

health

issues.

Secondly

, stopping

alcohol

ads

can make society safer.

Alcohol

abuse often leads to problems like drunk driving and violence. By limiting

alcohol

ads

, we can reduce these incidents.

For instance

, in Norway, where

alcohol

ads

are strictly controlled, there are fewer

alcohol

-related accidents and crimes.

This

means less exposure to

alcohol

ads

can help make a safer community. In conclusion, I support the ban on

alcohol

ads

because it helps public

health

and makes society safer. By not glamorizing

alcohol

, especially to young people, we can create healthier communities and reduce

alcohol related

Add a hyphen

alcohol-related

show examples

problems.

Although

there are economic concerns, the

health

and safety benefits are more important.

Submitted by msharyhashem on Fri Jul 19 2024

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task achievement

Consider elaborating on the economic concerns mentioned in the conclusion to provide a balanced perspective. This will make your essay more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is well-organized, including a wider range of cohesive devices can enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Diversifying your examples beyond European countries could provide a more global perspective and strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear and consistent position on the topic, effectively supporting your point of view with relevant arguments and examples.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is logical and includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.

task achievement

The points are well-supported with specific examples, such as those from France and Norway, which make your arguments more convincing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries it is now illegal to advetise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?

Many universities graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession what factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion should be care about it?

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities whether they only know a few people in their area. Advantages and disadvantages of living in small communities?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young children. Moregovernment money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say that nowadays, this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.