Write IELTS essay with at least 250 words with the topic "In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations."
In the present
world
there are few developed countries where the average life span of an individual is increasing. Add a comma
world,
Although
, this
is a very good sign for a nation. But, due to
this
there is a huge amount of money spent on old age people, and also
overcrowding at certain places affects the real estate prices. However
, by expanding the current cities the problem can be mitigated. This
essay will discuss the problems caused by this
, and possible solutions for this
.
One of the primary problems in a country caused due to
very high life expectancy is that it results in overpopulation. As a result
, within a few decades, the majority of the country would be comprised of aged people. Therefore
, the government has to spend billions of dollars on the healthcare facility. It indirectly causes land prices to soar due to
overcrowding. A similar example is being noticed in Italy, where more than 40% of the country is comprised of individuals whose age is above 70. This
has forced Italy’s government to spend annually 300,000,000,000 dollars on them. Also
, in Venice, the residential area's cost has gone up by 150% due to
high demand. Hence
, shortage of land and heavy expenditure are the issues faced by such
countries.
The solution to this
is to encourage senior citizens to move outside the major cities and shift to the countryside, by providing them world class
hospitals in these locations. Add a hyphen
world-class
This
could help a young working employee afford a house in cities where he can work and earn more and pay more taxes.
In conclusion, government agencies could motivate retired people to relocate to villages or smaller towns in order to avoid issues caused by lower mortality rates, such
as the shortage of housing societies in prime areas.Submitted by yashaswikhot on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well, highlighting key problems like increased healthcare costs and soaring real estate prices, and suggesting solutions such as relocating seniors to the countryside. However, expanding on the solutions and providing a more comprehensive analysis of how these solutions could be implemented would strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to improve logical flow, ensure each idea seamlessly leads to the next with more detailed explanations and connecting phrases. For example, you might further elaborate on the connection between overcrowding and real estate prices.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with distinct sections for introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and relevant to the prompt, addressing both problems and solutions in a thoughtful manner.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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