You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

There is a notion that
school
sports
are great platforms by which youngsters can learn to cooperate with other individuals.
This
is an opinion that I strongly align with as I feel that they help
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
good
habits
and provide
experience
. The main reason why I agree with
this
notion is that
school
groups help children cultivate good
habits
which fosters unity among them. One of the many characteristics needed by a
team
player is discipline. There is no better place for a child to learn
such
a vital attribute than at
school
and with the help of a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
coach.
For example
, pupils who play football have the awareness of punctuality as they know that being late would delay
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their practice which will be unfair to their teammates.
In addition
, sharing things is an important characteristic of a cooperative individual, and
this
attribute is encouraged in different
sports
because they create opportunities where children have to either share equipment or ideas to win a game. Another justification for my agreement is that it provides
experience
to young ones.
Experience
is the best teacher, things that are experienced in real-time tend to stick longer because people get to face the impacts of their decisions.
Furthermore
, the excitement related to the memory of their
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
team
winning will make students want to stick to the
habits
that brought them success as it has proven to be functional.
For instance
, most companies in Nigeria prefer workers who have joined a
school
team
because they believe that they have experienced what it means to work as a
team
member,
hence
Correct word choice
and hence
show examples
can incorporate the
habits
they have garnered over time. In conclusion, I totally agree that
team
sports
at higher institutions are the best places to teach children how to cooperate with others as I believe that they foster the development of
habits
needed and provide
experience
. In my opinion, parents should encourage their offspring to participate in
sports
at
school
.
Submitted by favourade234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured and cohesive, some sentences could be made more concise. For instance, 'There is a notion that school sports are great platforms by which youngsters can learn to cooperate with other individuals' can be shortened to 'School sports are believed to teach youngsters cooperation well.'
coherence cohesion
Consider using a greater variety of transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs. Instead of starting both main body paragraphs with 'The main reason...,' alternatives like 'Firstly,' or 'Secondly,' can be employed.
task achievement
Though the essay is generally strong in providing relevant examples, explaining more by breaking down why certain habits lead to better cooperation will make the arguments even stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure with a strong introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to Nigerian companies' preferences.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, making the essay highly convincing.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: