Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. discus both these views, and give your opinion.
In
this
contemporary world, everyone has a busy schedule because of that humans have stopped focusing on their physical Linking Words
health
, Use synonyms
hence
, some believe that physical Linking Words
education
should be prioritised from a younger age and that schools must contribute to children's physical Use synonyms
development
and mental Use synonyms
health
. Others argue that schools should only focus on children's academic Use synonyms
development
because of the growing competition and fewer opportunities in the current economy. I believe a more nuanced Use synonyms
approach
is necessary.
Use synonyms
According to
recent studies, daily physical activities, Linking Words
such
as sports and exercises can have a significant impact on children's Linking Words
development
, it not only focuses on their physical Use synonyms
development
but Use synonyms
also
on their mental Linking Words
health
. Use synonyms
For instance
, exercising daily releases hormones, Linking Words
such
as endorphin and dopamine Linking Words
also
known as happy hormones which trigger happiness in the human body and contribute to their mental Linking Words
health
. Use synonyms
Additionally
, regular physical activity Linking Words
also
improves concentration and academic performance.
Linking Words
On the contrary
, some argue that academic Linking Words
education
is more crucial than physical Use synonyms
education
, as Use synonyms
students
are in constant competition in Use synonyms
this
economy, Linking Words
hence
they should focus on academics as it may help in the advancement of knowledge and critical thinking Linking Words
skills
, which are crucial in the information age. Use synonyms
In contrast
, prioritizing academics might ensure that Linking Words
students
excel in core subjects, Use synonyms
thus
potentially securing better future career opportunities.
In my opinion, a balanced Linking Words
approach
is necessary, schools must follow Use synonyms
holistic
Correct article usage
a holistic
development
Use synonyms
approach
for Use synonyms
students
, as it focuses on Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
development
in Use synonyms
students
including their cognitive, creative, emotional, academic and physical Use synonyms
development
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
approach
can enhance Use synonyms
skills
, Use synonyms
such
as teamwork, social Linking Words
skills
, creative Use synonyms
skills
and cognitive Use synonyms
skills
in Use synonyms
students
.
In conclusion, many believe educational institutes should include physical Use synonyms
education
because of its several benefits but others argue that educational institutes should focus more on their Use synonyms
education
for better career opportunities in future. Use synonyms
However
, a balance is crucial and a holistic Linking Words
approach
must be followed as it will not only enhance their academic or physical Use synonyms
development
but Use synonyms
also
their cognitive, creative and social Linking Words
skills
.Use synonyms
Submitted by somynarain12 on
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task response
Ensure to fully elaborate on examples and their impacts. For instance, in the introduction of hormones such as endorphin and dopamine, including a specific study or survey would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on more seamless transitions between points to improve the logical flow. The discussion on the mental health benefits of physical education and the competition in academics should be linked more smoothly.
task response
The essay successfully shows a balanced perspective by discussing both views thoroughly, and it effectively concludes with a clear opinion and recommendation.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusive summary.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.