All students ought to study art and music in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is generally accepted that
art
and
music
have existed for thousands of years and they have been used for many different purposes.
However
, some
people
see it as a meaningless subject to study, and
this
has led to an argument about whether they should be taught in schools or not. In my opinion, I would agree that we need to learn them to enhance our soft skills for some reasons which are set out below.
First,
It is generally accepted that it would take years of practice for someone to master
art
or
music
and most
people
give up on their first year.
Therefore
, some
people
find them hard to comprehend and they don’t understand the meaning behind it.
However
, I agree with most
people
that both aspects are one of the most beautiful ways for someone to express their feelings. It has
also
been scientifically proven that
art
and
music
give pleasure to most
people
and it relieves stress.
For instance
, many musicians write songs to express their emotions and their fans enjoy listening to them.
Second,
as we all know, there are many types of
art
and
music
. Most
people
have a hard time understanding and find interest in different types of them. To give an example, most
people
in the current generation only listen to pop
music
.
In contrast
, I would say that
art
and
music
are very useful because most cultures have their own kind of
music
to appreciate their ancestors and keep the tradition alive through generations.
For example
, there are hundreds of tribes in Indonesia and every single one of them has a distinct type of
art
and
music
. In conclusion, even though
art
and
music
can be hard to learn, they have many different benefits to the world, including preserving culture and appreciation of both subjects.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, consider including more specific examples or studies that demonstrate the benefits of learning art and music in schools.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main point with adequate supporting details.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear and effective introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and supports it with logical reasoning.
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