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Band 7

In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#today’s #world #people #smartphone
It is a controversial consideration that almost all citizens possess a
smartphone
due to
 the development of technology.
This
 device plays an important role in humans’ lives, especially in the 4.0 era.
However
, it
also
 brings lots of serious consequences that all of us should notice.
This
 writer believes that the advantages of owning a
smartphone
 and keeping in touch with others far outweigh the drawbacks of
phone
 addiction.
To begin
 with, the
smartphone
 is a modern device which has a large number of functions
such
 as looking up information, surfing the Internet or contact with other
people
. It allowed us to access the Internet without fee and time-limited. In other words,
people
 can use websites to browse every time they need their demands.
For example
, in the past,
people
 had to go to mortar stores to purchase products that served their lives.
However
, nowadays,
people
 just need to access the online marketplace on the
phone
 which is not only convenient but
also
 easy to exchange without moving.
Besides
, a
smartphone
 is
also
 an ideal device that helps
people
 keep in touch with others.
This
 gadget can make
phone
 calls and send messages quickly but is not concerned about the distance.
As a result
,
people
 can communicate and chat through social media
such
 as Facebook, and Zalo all the time.
Thus
, mobile phones become a necessary part of our life.
However
, using a
phone
also
 has lots of disadvantages.
People
 easily become addicted to games online, and social media, especially at an early age can be affected seriously. Children cannot focus on their lessons or do not want to get on well with their friends, which leads to some dangerous diseases
such
 as obesity, and autism. Taking everything into account, we cannot deny the advantages of mobile phones in our lives. The value the
phone
 brings to us depends on the way we use it.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use cohesive devices to show the relationship between paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with adequate support, including specific examples and detailed explanations, to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Address the task prompt fully, ensuring that your response covers all aspects of the question. Your explanation of the advantages and disadvantages should be balanced to fully correspond with the prompt.
task achievement
Work on clear expression of ideas, ensuring they are presented comprehensively. Refrain from making over-generalized statements without proper support. Add depth to your arguments for a more compelling response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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