In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#today’s #world #people #smartphone

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is a controversial consideration that almost all citizens possess a

smartphone

due to

the development of technology.

This

device plays an important role in humans’ lives, especially in the 4.0 era.

However

, it

also

brings lots of serious consequences that all of us should notice.

This

writer believes that the advantages of owning a

smartphone

and keeping in touch with others far outweigh the drawbacks of

phone

addiction.

To begin

with, the

smartphone

is a modern device which has a large number of functions

such

as looking up information, surfing the Internet or contact with other

people

. It allowed us to access the Internet without fee and time-limited. In other words,

people

can use websites to browse every time they need their demands.

For example

, in the past,

people

had to go to mortar stores to purchase products that served their lives.

However

, nowadays,

people

just need to access the online marketplace on the

phone

which is not only convenient but

also

easy to exchange without moving.

Besides

, a

smartphone

also

an ideal device that helps

people

keep in touch with others.

This

gadget can make

phone

calls and send messages quickly but is not concerned about the distance.

As a result

people

can communicate and chat through social media

such

as Facebook, and Zalo all the time.

Thus

, mobile phones become a necessary part of our life.

However

, using a

phone

also

has lots of disadvantages.

People

easily become addicted to games online, and social media, especially at an early age can be affected seriously. Children cannot focus on their lessons or do not want to get on well with their friends, which leads to some dangerous diseases

such

as obesity, and autism. Taking everything into account, we cannot deny the advantages of mobile phones in our lives. The value the

phone

brings to us depends on the way we use it.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Jan 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use cohesive devices to show the relationship between paragraphs and sentences.

coherence cohesion

Develop each main point with adequate support, including specific examples and detailed explanations, to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

Address the task prompt fully, ensuring that your response covers all aspects of the question. Your explanation of the advantages and disadvantages should be balanced to fully correspond with the prompt.

task achievement

Work on clear expression of ideas, ensuring they are presented comprehensively. Refrain from making over-generalized statements without proper support. Add depth to your arguments for a more compelling response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

315 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?
There are calls for governments and individuals to address environmental problems that have been caused by human activities.
7.5
band
At present the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer with relevant example.
In contemporary society, certain nations are experiencing a demographic imbalance, with a substantial proportion of youths and a comparatively minority of elderlies. This situation prompts a critical examination of whether the benefits of a juvenile-dominated population surpass the drawbacks. This essay will explore the merits and demerits of such a demographic shift, supported by relevant examples and personal insights.
7
band
In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. While some people think that this is good for a country, others believe that salaries should be controlled by the government to limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
No one can deny that earning a decent salary is one of the most important motives to work efficiently. Some people believe that intelligent and highly talented individuals must earn high salaries, while I think the government should limit the money earned by these so that we all become equal in money and lifestyle.
<4
band
A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose?
The establishment is deciding to spend money between arts or to preserve envieonment .In my opinion the money should be given for the environment over the arts project since the huge decline of our environment these days . Investing in environmental protection ensures long-term benifits for us and our future generations, including fresh air and clean drinking water .
6.5
band
These days, food days, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?
Nowadays, it is true that packed foods travel long distances before being consumed by consumers. There are more advantages if the food can be grown locally instead of imported from outside the country which leads to a variety of beneficial traits such as economic and environmental benefits. I strongly believe that growing food locally would bring more opportunities to the local market and nature.

In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

At present the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer with relevant example.

A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose?

These days, food days, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?