Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
It is
the
undeniable point that, Correct article usage
an
children
are the future of the nation, but nowadays youngsters are very irresponsible in their lifestyle
. Some people believe that both parents
and teachers
should take measures to solve this
issue and I agree with this
statement, I will explain in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, parents
are the first teachers
of their kids, they not only nurture them but also
help them to adopt good habits such
as exercising every day, eating green vegetables, and drinking a lot of water.
That's why co-parents
are fully responsible for a better lifestyle
for juniors. Moreover
, juveniles become the first carbon copies of their parents
, they do whatever their parents
think, watch, and do. For example
, my cousin loves to consume alcohol, due to
his biological parents
drinking every day, hence
, it is proven that both mother and father should take care of their minors, so they can be healthy.
Secondly
, school is the place where children
learn everything like good manners, what to eat, and when to eat as well as
how to eat, that's why instructors can easily guide the scholars regarding their tiffin boxes like what they need to bring or not. In addition
to this
, there should be extracurricular activities in the academy where students can learn the importance of sports, yoga, and excessive nutrition for their bodies. A recent study has shown data from the United States, where teenagers are much healthier than their parents
just because of their extra sports activity and good diet. As a result
, it is easy for tutors to look after the kids for their healthy lifestyle
.
To synopsize, I pen down saying that, parents
are the first teachers
and kids do, whatever their parents
and school staff can easily supervise the children
's eating habits and guide them, consequently
, both parents
are teachers
should take responsibility for the children
to avoid the unhealthy lifestyle
.Submitted by hkaur14165 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents clear arguments. To improve, ensure that all examples are fully developed and clearly linked to your main points.
coherence cohesion
While your paragraphs are generally cohesive, some transitions could be smoother. Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure by making sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and flows naturally from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is effective and clearly lays out your stance on the topic, setting up the discussion well.
task achievement
You provide relevant points and examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.