IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write a letter to your friend who wants to visit your hometown. In your letter say • When is the best time to visit • Recommend someplace to stay • Invite her/him to your house

#friend #visit #hometown #time #house
My friend, Mr.Damanpreet Hope, You are good. Right now I am out of town for you to visit my hometown will be next month. Because next month my town members will arrange a big festival.
Moreover
, At that time I will
also
 present to you.
However
, there are some more places that are
also
 good for you to see
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example,
Old
Correct article usage
the Old
show examples
 Museum,
Big
Correct article usage
the Big
show examples
 Zoo , some religious places and entertainment places.
Furthermore
, My mom
also
 wants to see you,whenever they will meet you my mom really
getting
Wrong verb form
gets
show examples
 happy. I will be waiting for you see you soon. Your Friend, Gursewak Singh
Submitted by damandhillon75026 on

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task achievement
Your letter should include more specific details about why next month is the best time to visit, and what exactly happens during the festival. This will make your recommendation more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas into separate paragraphs. For instance, have one paragraph about the best time to visit, another about places to stay or visit, and a separate paragraph for the invitation and any personal touches.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you check your letter for grammar and punctuation to make it easier to read. Small errors can sometimes distract from the main message.
task achievement
You have a friendly and inviting tone throughout the letter, which is very appropriate for a letter to a friend.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are both warm and personal, making your letter feel genuine.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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