Some people believe that money is one of the most important factors in a person's happiness. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The debate about the role of
money
in achieving happiness
is ongoing. While
it does play a significant role in providing basic needs and security, it is important to acknowledge that it is not the sole reason for happiness
. Therefore
, I agree that money
is one of the most important factors in a person’s happiness
Firstly
, money
is essential for providing basic needs such
as food, shelter, education, and healthcare. Without these basics, it is challenging to lead a happy and stable life. Financial stability
can also
reduce stress and anxiety, due to
the fact that people who have reached this
stability
do not have to think about providing for their basic needs. This
allows individuals to focus on relationships and doing what they love, including their hobbies and interests.
However
, the influence of money
on happiness
slowly fades away once basic needs are met. I believe that after reaching a certain level of income, additional wealth could have a minimal impact on someone’s well-being. Factors such
as relationships and good health become more valuable and significant. For instance
, strong social connections and a supportive family can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging that money
can not buy.
In conclusion, while
money
is undoubtedly an important factor in achieving happiness
, especially in terms of meeting basic needs and ensuring financial stability
, it is not the most crucial. In my opinion, a more balanced approach that values personal fulfilment and relationships with financial stability
is more likely to lead to long-lasting elation.Submitted by riani.the2 on
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to further strengthen your argument. Mentioning studies or real-life scenarios can support your points more effectively.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your arguments slightly more to enhance the depth of your essay. For example, explain more about the diminishing returns of wealth on happiness with concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a seamless flow throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay topic effectively.
logical structure
The structure of your essay is logical with a clear progression of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance.
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