More and more people are moving from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order tolook for work. What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

#people #background #cities #tolook #work #consequences #offer

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Over the

last

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few decades,changing the location of living has risen dramatically.

In other words

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,the majority of

people

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have moved from suburbs to capital

cities

Use synonyms

in order to find a proper job in recent years.

This

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essay will look at some results of

this

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action and

also

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I will propose some effective solutions. Let's begin by looking at some consequences which will be created when

people

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move to crowded

cities

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Firstly

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,If more

people

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move to another

mega city

Add a hyphen

mega-city

show examples

,the population of the city will increase sharply.

That is

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to say,the percentage of

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

who live in a big city rockets

due to

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the

imigrants

Correct your spelling

immigrants

Secondly

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,the expenses of renting

residence

Correct article usage

a residence

show examples

will rise dramatically because of more

demanding

Replace the word

demand

show examples

for

houses

Use synonyms

.Clearly,If more

people

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migrate from agricultural areas to large

cities

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,the costs of living will climb. Turning to the side of the solutions,dealing with

this

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issue,the

government

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should prepare some well-paid jobs for

people

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

ouside

Correct your spelling

outside

of the capital

cities

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so as to reduce the number of

imigrants

Correct your spelling

immigrants

.It is considered that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

not only do

people

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find better jobs in their local regions,but

aslo

Correct your spelling

also

the population of

croweded

Correct your spelling

crowded

cities

Use synonyms

will not increase.

Moreover

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,to tackle the issue of more

demanding

Replace the word

demand

show examples

for

houses

Use synonyms

,the

government

Use synonyms

should realize the percentage of accessible

houses

Use synonyms

in big

cities

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.Generally speaking,the

government

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should construct more residences

for preparing

Change preposition

to prepare

show examples

an opportunity for renting or purchasing

houses

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To conclude

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,there is no doubt that most

people

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are keen on moving

another

Change preposition

to another

show examples

big

citiy

Correct your spelling

city

to find a job.

It is clear that

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the results of

this

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changing the location might not

Correct your spelling

suitable for both

people

Use synonyms

and

government

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As a consequence

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,these problems will remain unchanged unless the

government

Use synonyms

consider the solutions.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Jul 21 2024

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task response

The essay addresses the task by outlining both the consequences and the solutions related to urban migration. However, to elevate your task response score, consider providing more specific examples and deeper analysis of each point. For example, delve into how increased urban populations strain public services or create environmental issues.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are logically organized, and the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Nevertheless, there are occasional issues with sentence flow and connectivity between ideas. Try using more varied linking words and phrases to improve cohesion. Additionally, avoid repeating phrases like 'the government should'; instead, use synonyms or rephrase to show a wider range of vocabulary.

language

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For instance, 'Changing the location of living has risen' should be 'The trend of changing one's living location has risen'. Additionally, 'the percentage of community' should be 'the percentage of the community'. Work on refining your grammar and expression for greater clarity and impact.

structure

The essay has a well-organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow your arguments.

content

You have identified both the potential consequences of urban migration and proposed viable solutions, showing a good understanding of the issue.

tone

Your essay maintains a formal tone throughout and uses appropriate vocabulary related to the topic, which enhances the professionalism of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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More and more people are moving from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order tolook for work. What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

Fully explain your ideas

*Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social,and commercial, perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?*

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The diagram below shoes the process of using water to produce electricity.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social,and commercial, perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?