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Writing Samples
Band 6

some beleive the range of technology is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor, other belive the opposite of this, discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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People are of the notion that in today's world, the variety of gadgets available in the market is creating a bridge between the middle class and the higher class.
While
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 some believe it to be the opposite of that, my opinion tilts towards the latter, when taking into consideration most of the features are the same
in expensive
Correct your spelling
inexpensive
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 devices
as well as
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 the affordable options, only the difference lies in the computing power of
both
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 the devices. First and foremost, the only gap between rich and poor in regard to
technology
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 is the ability of the consumer to purchase the product. Affordability is certainly the reason for the gap, as not everyone is able to purchase an expensive phone or a laptop as soon as it is available to buy.
For example
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, every year Apple launches a new iPhone and people stand in line to be able to get their hands on one, but not everyone is able to afford a thousand-dollar phone, which gives individuals a sense of
supriority
Correct your spelling
priority
 over others, but looking at it with a
technology
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 perspective there is little to no difference between
both
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 the phones.
On the other hand
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, the range of
technology
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 is opening the door
to
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for
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 everyone to be able to acquire a smartphone, a laptop or any other technological equipment. which meet their requirements,
for instance
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, a student living in a rural remote area can
also
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 access the same education online as
the
Correct article usage
a
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 student living in a mega city,
hence
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 giving equal opportunity to
both
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 rich and poor. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe
technology
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 does not create a gap in the sense of the status of the person but provides
with
Change preposition
apply
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the opportunity to be able to equal, the only difference being the rich can afford the expensive product and the common man can access the affordable option,
both
Use synonyms
 being capable to do the task.

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task response
Provide more varied examples to strengthen the argument that technology bridges the gap between rich and poor.
coherence
Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs to enhance flow and readability.
cohesion
Use topic sentences to clearly outline the main idea of each paragraph.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the writer's position and outlines what will be discussed in the essay.
task response
The essay successfully discusses both views on the topic in a balanced manner.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's opinion without repetition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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