Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

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The

youth

Use synonyms

in the previous generation used to depend on their guardians much more than the current ones to make their own stands .

This

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essay agrees with

this

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opinion .The

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

for

this

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fact is that the present

youth

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have more knowledge about their surroundings and know the latest developments happening around and globally .

This

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essay will cover the points

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

supporting

this

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view

Firstly

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,in the past gathering

information

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was not so easy .

This

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is because to get

information

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regarding a specific topic, books were the only option .

Moreover

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, getting access to proper books

also

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were difficult in the past .

Due to

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this

Linking Words

reason, they had to depend on their parents for guidance.

For instance

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, if a young graduate wanted to go abroad for studies in the past , it could have been difficult for him to gather the necessary data for that, from his local surroundings .

Moreover

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, getting to know the living environment in the foreign land could have been almost impossible

Whereas

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,for the current

youth

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all the

information

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is available at their fingertips.

Hence

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, they are much more informed about the local and global trends and developments . Considering the same situation of going abroad for studies . For the present

youth

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, they are accessible to all the required info . Because of

this

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they need not depend on their parents for their own decisions

To conclude

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, since the present generation of

youth

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has much more availability of

information

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, they are more knowledgeable .

This

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makes them capable of making their own decisions without depending on their parents , compared to the previous youths .

drcamtMon Jul 22 2024

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task achievement

While the essay adequately addressed the question, the introduction could be more engaging and the thesis statement more clear. Consider refining your opening sentences to capture the reader's attention and clearly state your position.

task achievement

Some key points lack depth and detailed explanation. For instance, explaining specific ways that technology has impacted young people’s decision-making could strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Use more transitional phrases or linking words to enhance coherence and cohesion.

coherence and cohesion

Work on sentence structure and avoid repetition. For instance, the phrase 'For the present youth' is repeated which affects fluency.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You did a good job in presenting a clear stance in the introduction and maintaining it throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In order to study at university, students are required to pay expensive tution fees. Not all students can afford them, so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with this?

It is often suggested that schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think that advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

University students should acquire specialist knowledge and skills in one subject area rather than study a wider range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

new technologied and ways of buying and seling are transfoming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agreeor disagree with this opinon.