Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

#people #parents #decisions #lives

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The

youth

in the previous generation used to depend on their guardians much more than the current ones to make their own stands .

This

essay agrees with

this

opinion .The

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

for

this

fact is that the present

youth

have more knowledge about their surroundings and know the latest developments happening around and globally .

This

essay will cover the points

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

supporting

this

view

Firstly

,in the past gathering

information

was not so easy .

This

is because to get

information

regarding a specific topic, books were the only option .

Moreover

, getting access to proper books

also

were difficult in the past .

Due to

this

reason, they had to depend on their parents for guidance.

For instance

, if a young graduate wanted to go abroad for studies in the past , it could have been difficult for him to gather the necessary data for that, from his local surroundings .

Moreover

, getting to know the living environment in the foreign land could have been almost impossible

Whereas

,for the current

youth

all the

information

is available at their fingertips.

Hence

, they are much more informed about the local and global trends and developments . Considering the same situation of going abroad for studies . For the present

youth

, they are accessible to all the required info . Because of

this

they need not depend on their parents for their own decisions

To conclude

, since the present generation of

youth

has much more availability of

information

, they are more knowledgeable .

This

makes them capable of making their own decisions without depending on their parents , compared to the previous youths .

Submitted by drcamt on Mon Jul 22 2024

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task achievement

While the essay adequately addressed the question, the introduction could be more engaging and the thesis statement more clear. Consider refining your opening sentences to capture the reader's attention and clearly state your position.

task achievement

Some key points lack depth and detailed explanation. For instance, explaining specific ways that technology has impacted young people’s decision-making could strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Use more transitional phrases or linking words to enhance coherence and cohesion.

coherence and cohesion

Work on sentence structure and avoid repetition. For instance, the phrase 'For the present youth' is repeated which affects fluency.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You did a good job in presenting a clear stance in the introduction and maintaining it throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development

In a public-funded health care system people who are willing to pay for the best and fastest treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some parents believe that their children should do extra-curricular activities after school. Others say in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives, compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet. But constant availability of any information worsens people's memory and critical thinking skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?