IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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It has been an attention to the public nowadays, many
people
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 communicate with friends and family and read the
news
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 through social
media
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.
However
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, in my opinion, I would say that the drawbacks
is
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are
show examples
 far superior compared to the benefits for some reasons which are set out below.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 use social
media
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 as a tool to get new authority of
news
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, which they can access through their mobile phones faster than other facilities. When an occasion happens, the
news
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 spreads in counts of seconds. A prime example is that when a fire occurs, the
news
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 will spread across the
media
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 to inform the current situation so that they can avoid the area.
Secondly
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,
people
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 use social
media
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 as a
platform
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 to communicate with others because even though they are in different countries, they will still be able to communicate with them effectively.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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 are used by
people
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 nowadays to read the
news
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 and communicate with others.
Although
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people
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 use
this
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platform
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 as a source of communication and
news
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, there are numerous disadvantages to be considered before deciding it as a reliable source.
To begin
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 with, even though the
news
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 spreads rapidly,
people
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 do not know whether the information is just rumours or hoaxes. Second of all, using social
media
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 as a communication
platform
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 seems to be interesting, but it is not as smooth as it seems because communicating through social
media
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 can be one of many ways for
people
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 to dox us as they are able to screenshot our texts, which can lead to misunderstandings. Taking everything into consideration, I strongly think that using social
media
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 as a
platform
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 for communicating and getting
news
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 does not outweigh the disadvantages.
Although
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 information spreads fast, it might contain false information and cause misunderstanding.

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task achievement
Consider adding a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to guide your reader on your main argument more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs follow a clear structure. Each paragraph should ideally have a main idea, supporting details, and a concluding sentence to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Expand on some of your points with more depth and specific examples. This will help clarify your ideas and make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of word choices and grammar. For example, 'the drawbacks is' should be 'the drawbacks are'. Such mistakes can detract from the professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
You provided some relevant points about the rapid spread of information on social media, which is a strong aspect of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
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