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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that imposing strict punishments for driving offences is the most effective way to reduce traffic casualties,
while
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 others believe that other measures would lead to improvement in road safety. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss the benefits of imposing strict measures and the other options available to have a more secure drive. On the one hand, stricter consequences can stop those from driving dangerously. If drivers could now get a big fine, lose their licence or even go to jail, they would be more careful on the road. If they are scared, they would think before driving to speed or using the car after drinking alcohol.
For example
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, in big cities in Japan, there are strict rules for people who exceed the maximum speed limit , like expensive fines or prison.
Therefore
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, there are fewer accidents in these countries.
On the other hand
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, many believe that other methods are more effective than strict punishments. Education can help drivers learn good habits and understand the reasons why road safety is important. Improving roads, like adding more powerful and clearer signs, can
also
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 prevent many accidents.
Furthermore
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, new technology like speed cameras or automátic cars can erase human mistakes.
For instance
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, in the Netherlands, roads with better signs and lighting have helped in the decrease of the number of accidents in big cities.
To conclude
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, even if severe consequences can help significantly for reducing dangerous driving, I definitely believe that education and recent technology offer an easier and better solution.

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content
Add more full ideas on each view. Give how each rule or tool can stop bad driving and how it can work in real life.
grammar
Fix grammar and word use. Watch miss words like 'erace' and 'automatíc' to be clear and easy.
structure
Use topic sentences in each paragraph and keep a clear line of thought from one idea to the next.
cohesion
Use more simple linking words to show flow, like 'also', 'however', 'but', 'so' to join ideas.
structure
End with a strong, short conclusion that restates the view and sums up.
content
Clear choice of side and a view given in the end.
organization
The essay follows a simple plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
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