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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee.
#life #cycle #honey #bee
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The given diagram represents the life cycle of a
honey
Use synonyms
 bee development over a 34-
36
Correct your spelling
36-day
days
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 period starting from an egg and
enculminating
Correct your spelling
culminating
 with its mature form.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that they underwent four different stages of life: egg, nymph, young adult, and matured
phase
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, It is interesting to note that the
bees
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 did not change much of their appearance, except
Change preposition
for its
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 size
as well as
Linking Words
short
Correct article usage
the short
show examples
 period of development in each
phase
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, once
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mature female
bees
Use synonyms
laid
Wrong verb form
lay
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 one or two eggs every three
days
Use synonyms
 in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 hive.
Next,
Linking Words
a small round
eggs
Fix the agreement mistake
egg
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 will be hatched in the nest for approximately 9 to 10
days
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 and 5
days
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 later the baby
bee
Verb problem
will be
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 ready to be free from its shell. In
this
Linking Words
phase
Use synonyms
, the baby
honey
Use synonyms
bees
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 are called the Nymph in which it gradually moults threefold of its prior size as it grows for around two weeks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the black strip in
this
Linking Words
 stage
has
Verb problem
does
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 not
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
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 yet until they become young adults.
Besides
Linking Words
from
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 size and unique pattern at
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 bottom part
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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make
Change the verb form
makes
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 it different from its younger version. In regards to the
last
Linking Words
phase
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, it takes only four
days
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 before the young adult
honey
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bees
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 become mature and ready for breeding and laying eggs. A full-size
of
Change preposition
apply
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honey
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
bees
Fix the agreement mistake
bee
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 will
takes
Change the verb form
take
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 about one month and a
weeks
Fix the agreement mistake
week
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 before it continues
endless
Correct article usage
an endless
show examples
 loop of life cycle.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, days, phase, bees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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